Open Your Eyes
by MayFairy
Summary: She is plagued at night by dreams of a strange woman, an incredible man, and an alien world and war. Her only comfort is a fob watch, and when she opens it she remembers who she is, a Time Lord, the Doctor's companion, his true equal…Romana. RomanaIV/11
1. Prologue

**Okay, so I know I should be working on Deafening Silence, but I'm on a serious Romana tangent at the moment, and after watching something on YouTube I really couldn't resist. And frankly, my muse is anything BUT River/Doctor at the moment, it's kind of halfway in terms of Aliya/Doctor, and completely set on Romana/Doctor, so bear with me!**

**So this was inspired by a youtube vid, and while I'm not copying, I simply have to write my own version of Romana opening a fob watch after the Time War and remembering herself, because I can't get it out of my head. **

**I OWN NOTHING! **

**This is only the prologue, explaining how she got to Earth and everything, it's really bad and unoriginal, but I needed to get this bit out of the way so I can get to the bit I actually want to write! **

**This is my first time writing Romana, so please let me know what you think!**

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><p>Romana felt fatigue fill her dying body as she fled from her prison cell, and through the Citadel corridors.<p>

Rassilon had predictably had her imprisoned after he overthrew her and took the Presidency for himself, and without meaning to, caused her body enough harm that her body was beginning to show signs of regeneration. However, this one was slow in building, and she was grateful for that.

Running was something that she hated herself for doing, but she knew that her choice was either this or permanent death. And in death, she would not be helping anyone. It was run, or rot in a cell until the war ended and then some.

She kept telling herself this as she ran, because every inch of her hearts were screaming at her for abandoning her people and telling her to go back to them.

She wished she knew where the Doctor was. But he had gone to fight on Arcadia, and the connection with Arcadia had been lost over two days ago. She hoped he was alive with all of her hearts.

Looking through the TARDIS bay frantically, she saw her Type 90 stashed away in a corner, still with the appearance of a Trandonian tree. The blue leaves mixed with the green made it recognisable.

Once inside her TARDIS, every movement she made had to be forced with every fibre of her mind as her hearts pushed for her to go back.

Even as she felt the regeneration pressing on her, she continued to prepare the Chameleon Arch for use, pushing her short black hair behind her ears every time it fell in front of her eyes.

Romana thought she could hear alarms outside her TARDIS, but paid them no attention as she took off from Gallifrey and set the course for Earth. Once the TARDIS was on its way, Romana stepped away from the console.

The regeneration energy burst, and she felt her entire body change amongst the gold fire. After what seemed like an eternity it faded, and Romana's fourth life began.

However, she knew it was soon to be put onto long term postponement as she settled herself in the Chameleon Arch and activated it. Every cell of her body was changing into one of a completely different structure, and she did her best not to scream as the agony tore through her.

The process completed and the very human Romana fell to the floor, a golden fob watch clutched firmly in her delicate hand.

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><p><strong>Let me know what you think! Reviews are the world to me, and I reply to every signed one I get (and I'll do my best to reply to anonymous ones next chapter), so please review. <strong>

**The next chapter will cut straight to the human Romana wondering about her mysterious watch...**

**But tell me in a review: Which Doctor should I use? If she were to meet him at the end, which one do I do? I'm leaning towards Nine or Eleven, for some reason I don't think Ten would fit as well. **

**Please let me know! **

**-MayFairy :)**


	2. Confusion

**The response to this story has been awesome! Especially since it was just a tiny prologue... 10reviews! XD**

**Thanks to all who reviewed: Mrs 11th, 0Melody0, readandwrite4evernever20, mad eye harry, The 11th Doctor's Mermaid Sam, EleventhdocAmy, Still Not King, toavoidconversation, ZackAttack96, Romana-II!**

**You are all awesome!**

**Okay, so these chapters are going to be quite shortish, because it is quite a short story and I don't want it to be over in one chapter. **

**Also, this was inspired by the youtube video 'Tell Me That You'll Open Your Eyes'. I couldn't get the idea of a human Romana remembering who she is out of my head, so this is what I've got. I don't own anything. **

**For the record, my Romana III is based on Gemma Arterton, and my Romana IV is Rachel Hurd-Wood. She looks very similar to Romana II, which I figure isn't a problem because basically everyone loves Romana II. I can just totally imagine Rachel being a great Romana. **

**And the human Romana is called Fred. I didn't want to call her Romana, so really, it had to be Fred. :)**

**All the stuff with italics are dreams. **

**Enjoy!**

**p.s. the votes are in...Eleven won, and makes a small appearance in this chapter. **

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><p>Fred walked home under the dismal clouds that hung over the sky. Her house was not far away, and she somehow knew that she would be able to get home before it started to rain.<p>

Her light brown hair bounced along with her springy step as she cheerily walked through her front door and into her quaint two-bedroom house that she lived in alone.

Her job was fairly average, a PA. Being a personal assistant was fairly good, it paid okay and she had decent work.

Her hand clutched at a small golden fob watch inside her pocket. It was a strange habit she was not able to get rid of despite her many attempts. There was something comforting about it, and it gave her a feeling of power and intelligence that sometimes gave her the boost of esteem she needed.

As usual, being inside gave her the strangest faint feeling of Claustrophobia. It was another thing she was unsure about in terms of how it had come out. All her habits and idiosyncrasies were simply downright illogical.

Fred dumped her jacket on the couch and went straight to her expansive bookcase which dominated a whole wall of her living room. She loved books with a passion, and read all the time. Being a quick reader, she got through them quickly so she needed lots. Her friends always knew to get her books for her birthdays too.

She was currently reading 'The Time Machine'. The idea of time travel was one she had always been intrigued by. She thought that it definitely was possible – or would be one day – but that no forms of media had yet captured it accurately. At every single mention she simply got an urge to yell at the book and tell it that it was wrong.

It was silly really, since she knew nothing of how real time travel should be.

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><p><em>One night, she had a strange dream, one where she was holding onto the edge of a very long multi-coloured scarf, and was following it in hopes of finding the person on the end. She did not know who it was she was searching for, only that it was important.<em>

_When she finally came to the end of the scarf, there was no one there, only a large brown coat on the ground. She gathered the scarf in her arms and cradled it, although did not know why._

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><p>Tipsy laughter rang through the air of Rachel's kitchen as the five women chuckled, sipping wine and lounging around the kitchen counter. The chatter continued as the conversation turned to men, as it always did eventually.<p>

Fred was staring blankly ahead and her four friends snapped their fingers in front of her face so that she would stop in her daydreaming.

"Fred?" Linda asked with a raised eyebrow.

Fred felt her cheeks flush with embarrassment. "Sorry," She mumbled.

"So…Fred…" Stacey began with a grin, "What are you looking for in a man?"

Fred thought about the question, but was more interested in pondering why it held so little interest for her rather than the answer she was going to give.

"Someone good. Kind, brave, that sort of thing I suppose." She said eventually as she stared down her glass and avoided her friends' eyes.

"Ah, you want the good man…I always preferred bad boys myself," Linda shrugged, and Stacey and Rachel uttered their agreement.

"Good men are boring," Rachel nodded.

Fred shook her head overdefensively, but before she could reply Sally cut in.

"No, they're not." The red head reached her hand to clasp Fred's own comfortingly. "Good men are supportive and kind."

"Good men can still be interesting! They can be silly and ridiculous and brilliant…" Fred agree forcefully. She stopped herself as she realised she knew of no one personally who fit into the description.

"To be honest, I just want a man who will love me and will take me to Paris…" Stacey was quick to change the subject and sighed dreamily at the idea of the beautiful city. "I hear it's beautiful."

"It is." Fred answered automatically. "It's energetic and poetic and romantic." She smiled as memories (though they were rather blurry for some reason) of the sunny place filled her thoughts. Her hand was being held…the grasp was firm and protective.

"You've been there? How have you been to Paris and never mentioned this before?" Sally asked in complete shock, having been Fred's best friend for over three years, having graduated university together.

"Yeah, but it was years and years ago…but it was great, the Louvre, the Mona Lisas…" Fred trailed off in a dreamy manner.

"Mona Lisas?" Linda inquired sharply. "You mean the Mona Lisa. Just one."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, right." Fred said vaguely, clearly still not paying full attention. Linda rolled her eyes.

Stacey sniggered. "The day Fred gets her head out of the clouds, I'll never drink another wine."

"Shut up," Fred mumbled before draining her own glass.

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><p>Fred returned home with a busy mind.<p>

All the talk of Paris had her head reeling. She had never been to France! She'd never even left England…

So if she'd never even left the country, how did she have such a clear image of the place in her head?

Fred stormed upstairs and went to bed immediately in hope of escaping her confused thoughts and being able to escape to the world of sleep.

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><p><em>A drawing, a woman wearing a hat, but with a clock face in place of a normal one…a man with curly hair laughs and chides her for ruining the picture by turning around.<em>

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><p>Her dreams confuse her.<p>

Always the same, but always different.

Words she seems to be speaking but does not know why or when…people she has never met but has a vivid picture of in her mind.

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><p>"<em>Despicable worm! Turn back!"<em>

The words are harsh, too harsh. But they are needed, to save someone important…

"_Give it up, Soldeed, you're finished!"_

He accuses her of all that is gone wrong, that she has brought the calamity on him.

"_You've brought it on yourself!" _

These words are positively hostile. The man is a fool, and at this moment, fools are not tolerated.

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><p>She sat at work and stared at the blank word processing page for several minutes before she sighed heavily.<p>

The mundanity of everything she did seemed to be hitting her harder than it had ever done in her life. She ran a hand through her light brown waves of hair and closed her eyes to escape real life for a moment or two.

"Fredrica?" A deep male voice laced with concern made her jump back to reality and open her eyes.

She looked guiltily up at her boss. Jeremy Roberts was the CEO of a major electronics company, and she had been very lucky to get the job as his personal assistant.

"I'm sorry, Mr Roberts, I just-" She began worriedly.

He held up a hand to silence her. "Fred, you've done great work for me in the past, I know you are capable. But these last few weeks you've been dwindling quite a bit. I think you should take some time off, relax. I think I'll be able to manage without you for a while." He said kindly.

The news should have made her relieved but instead all she wanted to do was argue that she was fine. Everyone seemed worried about her when there was nothing wrong.

"If that's what you think I should do," Fred said in what she hoped was a dismissive manner. The anger and confusion was building up in her all the time and it was getting to hide.

"You're brilliant, Fred. Don't forget that. Figure out what it is that has you so distracted…" He smiled as she gathered her things and went to the door.

"I'll try," She said simply before leaving.

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><p>At her home, the news showed negotiations in America concerning Afganistan and the war-like zone there.<p>

She found it too dull and sad to be worth watching so she turned it off.

She read her book before eventually giving up and going to bed.

That night, she dreamt of a different sort of war-filled negotiation.

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><p>"<em>You're treading on a very fine line, Rassilon, and it would do you good to remember that I am the President of this planet, and not you." Cold, calm and calculating words spoken by the controlled woman who knew he would not listen. <em>

"_For now," He spat, quite literally. _

"_We are taking this war day by day. I am doing all I can for our world and I know that a Gallifrey ruled by you is worse than a Gallifrey ruled by no one. But you and I both know that the people are going to choose you, because they are blind worshippers who don't see what you really are. But until the very moment of my downfall, you will still obey my orders as President." She met his eyes evenly before leaving the room without another word._

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><p>Fred doodled around the edge of the Sudoku she was attempting to complete. She was sitting in a coffee shop drinking a latte on her own. She seemed to be doing a lot of things on her own these days.<p>

Her doodles were strange circular designs that for some reason made her sad, so she stopped drawing them. Fred returned to the puzzle which she completed without a large amount of difficulty.

She sighed and finished the coffee quickly before paying and leaving the coffee shop.

Fred walked along the street and found her hand again finding its way into her coat pocket to clutch the fob watch. The comfort filled through her once more.

She became so absorbed in her own thoughts and conflicted feelings that she stopped paying attention to her surroundings.

A collision brought her back to reality; Fred bumped into a man on the street and nearly sent both of them flying. As they tumbled his hands automatically grabbed her shoulders to steady himself and then her.

"I'm sorry, I just-" She began before looking at the stranger properly for the first time. His dark green eyes stared into hers with a playful spark. He promptly lifted his hands from her shoulders and used them to straighten his bowtie.

"No, don't worry." He said cheerfully. "Half of it was probably my fault, it usually is…or so I'm told." He looked thoughtful.

"Oh, okay then." She gave him an easy smile. No need to let him know that it was almost definitely all her fault.

"Now, I'd love to stay and chat, but there are some things happening, big, bad, things, and I really do need to take care of them. It was nice…_bumping _into you." He grinned at her before swaggering past her and down the street with a confident air which should not have been present on someone with the clothing he was wearing.

Tweed jackets? Bowties? Braces?

Who wore those sorts of things anymore?

An unusual urge hit Fred and she turned around so quickly that she could feeling her hair whipping through the air. Her pale green eyes searched for the friendly stranger, but he was already gone.

She bit her lip and continued walking home, wondering not for the first time what was getting into her.

It took some time for all thoughts of the kind stranger to leave her mind…

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><p><strong>I'm not sure if this layout words well, but I'm not sure how else to do it, so please let me know what you think!<strong>

**Thanks heaps!**

**-MayFairy :)**


	3. Distress

**I'm sorry for the wait! And yes, I'm sorry to DS fans, I know it's almost been a month since I've updated, but I'm working on a big arc, and although getting the details are hard, hopefully I'll be able to get a chapter up soon. **

**I'm still on a huge Romana epic at the moment, which is good for some and not good for others. **

**So, this is basically where Fred starts freaking out at what's going on. This isn't going to be a long story, so it is going to be quite fast moving. **

**Eleven makes another appearance, so I hope you like! **

**Enjoy! **

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><p><em>It had been a good plan, but this phase was most unpleasant. It was also ironic that the only way to get out alive was to be dead. <em>

_Surrounded by darkness, unable to move, the dirt choking her…_

_When would it be over? _

_When would it be safe to escape into the open air?_

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><p>Fred jerked awake in her bed, gasping for breath as though she still felt suffocated.<p>

The dreams were getting more frequent, now she got them almost every other night, and it had been like that for a couple of weeks now. She had had enough. They were too puzzling. The only way to figure out her strange dreams would be to gather them all and look at them objectively. To write them down would seem like admitting she was crazy, but at least she would be a little less confused.

Fred groaned as she swung her legs out of bed and walked down the hallway of her house in her flannel pyjamas, the soles of her bare feet padding on the thick carpet.

When she got to the living room she ran her hand through her bed-wrangled hair as she thought about where to find something she could use to write down her dreams. She searched through her bookshelf with unusual vigour and aggression, and finally pulled out an old sketch book with ring binders, which she flipped through to find that it was completely blank.

Despite knowing it was past midnight, Fred sat down at her dining room table with the empty book and a pencil. Not knowing what to title the book, she simply left the front blank and turned to the first page.

She wrote the word 'scarf' in large loopy writing across the top of the page, before adding in a rough sketch.

It showed her in the distance, following the long striped scarf, and it showed the coat in the puddle of fabric at the end of the scarf in the foreground of the picture. She wrote words around the picture, phrases that had stuck with her long after the dream was over.

'_Find him…'_

'_It's important…'_

'_Hold the scarf…'_

She sighed and turned the page over to begin the next dream.

The next had no title, merely an attempted copy of the drawing of the woman with the cracked clock face and hat. She draw a basic idea of the curly haired man in the background, because his features were a little blurry.

'_ruined the picture…'_

The third dream had been nothing but sounds, but the words remained imprinted in her brain long with everything else.

"_Despicable worm! Turn back!"_

'_anger…'_

'_sacrifices…'_

"_It's all over, Soldeed, you're finished!"_

'_Nimon…'_

'_conquest…'_

'_calamity…'_

"_You've brought it on yourself!"_

Fred read over the random words scrawled and spread out across thee page, and wondered how her brain could dream up such things as these ideas and phrases.

She swore to herself in that moment to not let anyone see the sketch book, or they would deem her insane and send her to a psychiatric ward.

What was wrong with her?

The dream involving the argument between the man and the woman was one of the most puzzling, as there were some words that didn't quite fit.

Fred sketched in hard and openly cruel features of the man's face (she had been seeing the dream from the woman's point of view, and was unable to draw her), before surrounding his face and strange elaborate shoulder plate and headpiece with words and sentences.

'_Rassilon…' _

"_President of this planet…"_

"_Not you…"_

"_For now…"_

'_War…'_

'_Our world…'_

'_Gallifrey…'_

"_The people are going to choose you…"_

'_Blind worshippers…'_

"_My downfall…"_

Fred took a deep breath before recording the dream she had woken from that night, and the feelings of suffocation, using words to describe it, and the one quote she could not forget.

'_The only way to survive is to die…' _

Fred flicked through the pages she had filled with wary evaluation, checking the details were right while the whole time wondering what was wrong with her.

She gently closed the book and carried it back to her bedroom, where she placed it under her pillow along with the pencil for nights to come, before climbing in the bed again in an attempt to get some more sleep before the morning came.

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><p>Fred went for a walk around town that day, and found nothing interested her. She was so distant from everyone, even from herself, but didn't know how to fix it.<p>

Her hand once again reached into her pocket for the fob watch.

It was the only thing that gave her any fulfilment these days, like her own personal drug. It was a scary thought.

She went past the library, only to suddenly go back. After all, she did love books, and with all her time off, she had nothing better to do with her time. She walked through the intricately carved doors and felt comfort wash over her the moment she passed over the doorway, and it only increased the further she went in.

She gravitated towards the Fantasy and Sci-Fi fiction area automatically, as those were some of the categories she loved. The idea of other worlds made her feel like there was something more than coffee and work and sleep…

Fred browsed for at least ten minutes, before eventually choosing a book. She began to read it as she walked towards a table to sit at.

Before she got there she collided with something, which upon investigation turned out to be a person carrying a mountain of books, with at least thirteen, and they piled so high they had to be at least a foot higher than his head while carrying them. Of course, she didn't get much of a chance to see them before she knocked them out of his arms and they both went tumbling to the floor along with all of the books.

"I'm sorry, I just need to look through these, it's very urgent..." A fast-paced and slightly worried sounding voice said.

"You don't need to apologise for running into me when you couldn't see where you were going…" Fred told the person with a gentle smile as she looked up.

Her pale green eyes met ones that had a slightly darker shade and the tiniest touch of brown.

The face was familiar, from the floppy hair to the large chin. And of course, when she looked lower, the bowtie confirmed it.

He frowned in a confused manner. "Hello." He said it as though he was surprised.

"Hello," She murmured in reply, mirroring his frown with her own.

"Have we met?" He asked her, not taking his eyes off her face as he began gathering his books. She helped him, also finding it hard to look away as they tried to work it out.

"We bumped into each other on the street the other week," Fred said without thinking, and mentally kicked herself for blurting it out. What kind of normal person would remember that?

"Ah, yes, I remember now. We seem to be making a bit of a habit of it." He noted, looking between them and the scattered books.

Fred merely nodded in reply as she stacked three books back onto his pile.

"Well, since we are making a habit of this, I suppose introductions are in order. What's your name?" He asked with kind curiosity.

"Fred." She replied simply, but managed to flash a smile at him.

"John Smith." He countered, and shifted his books in his arms so that he could offer her his right hand. "Nice to meet you, Fred." He grinned at her.

"Nice to meet you too, John."

They shook hands, and afterwards he helped pull her up with their still joined hands. He let go and placed his books on the table.

"I might come and sit with you, if that's alright." He suggested as she sat down at the same table, not far from his books.

"Sure," She offered him a soft smile before turning to her book again.

"I'll just check that my card is still valid…" John began rummaging through his pocket before pulling out an incredibly battered looking library card. The name was correct, but the picture was one of an old, white haired man. "See, I really need to get a new one!"

Fred looked at the card in confusion, but before she could say anything he had swaggered off with the intent of getting a new card, muttering about 'facelifts' or something close to them as he went.

She felt the emptiness and distance begin to seep into her again. She pulled the fob watch out of her pocket and ran her fingers over the detailed and beautiful carvings in the gold metal. Comfort again filled her, and she basked in it for several minutes before her piece was interrupted.

"Let me out…" A whisper of a faint feminine voice came from the watch, and Fred jumped a mile. "Free me, please…"

Fred stared at it with wide, terrified eyes, and shoved it roughly back into her coat pocket just as John came back around the corner.

John saw Fred holding something small and gold in her hands. It looked incredibly familiar, almost the right shape to be a…no, it couldn't be…

Before he could contemplate it further, something made Fred jump in her seat, and she quickly shoved into her pocket before he could get a closer look. He was determined however, to get a look. If he didn't see it, there was a chance he would get his hopes up, which was a dangerous thing.

He approached the table just as Fred was getting out her mobile phone and reading a message.

"Hey, Fred, I was just wondering…" He began immediately when he got to the table, but she looked up with distracted eyes.

"Sorry," she said quickly, "I've got to go. My friend has turned up at my house, and I'm not there. I've got to go. Hopefully I'll see you around?"

"Yes, of course, you go…" John said awkwardly, nodding and twisting his hands together. She smiled gratefully, thankful he didn't try to make her stay.

She stuck out her hand for him to shake, and grinned at him when he did. Her vision of his face however, momentarily disappeared as a completely different and somewhat blurry image replaced it.

_A curly haired man and a golden haired girl ran through Paris gleefully with joined hands, not letting go for anything as they ran past pedestrians, streets and cars. The affection and happiness was glowing from them…_

The vision disappeared and she abruptly pulled her hand from his. Muttering a quick goodbye, she turned and left immediately.

'John' was left standing alone, and cursed himself for not finding out more about her, and the object she was holding in her hand. And why had he suddenly gotten a flash of the memory of running around Paris with Romana? What had made Fred look so surprised at exactly the same time?

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><p>Fred got home to find Sally waiting at the front door in the dark, and after many apologies and 'its okay's, the two young women went inside the house.<p>

"I haven't seen much of you these past couple of weeks," Sally said quietly as she sat the kitchen counter and watched Fred making coffee for the both of them.

"Sorry, I've just been busy…" Fred though of being off work at the moment and tried something different. "…and distracted."

"So distracted that you couldn't even return my calls?" Sally said with a gentle smile.

"Yeah, um…sorry. I guess I've just been really out of it lately." Fred said vaguely as she brought the two cups of espresso over to the counter. Sally said thanks and took it in her cold hands, looking pleased at the warmth it brought them.

"Have you been sick or something?" Sally asked with concern, suddenly flicking her red bangs out of her face in an attempt to more closely examine Fred.

Fred backed away with a frown. "Well, sort of." She admitted. "I've just…I don't know who to talk to." The last phrase was a whisper, full of fear and doubt. Sally eyed her with alarm and worry. She snaked a freckled arm and hand out to clasp Fred's comfortingly.

"Hey…" She said soothingly, her voice smooth like honey that could heal, "Talk to me, you know you can."

Fred bit her lip and closed her eyes as she ducked her head and shook it frantically. "I can't." She whispered.

"What could be so bad that you can't tell me?"

Fred pushed her coffee mug away from her and rushed out of the room, throwing herself on the sofa and curling into a ball. Sally was quick to follow and put her arms around her comfortingly.

The red head spotted the tear falling down her friend's cheek and gave her a sympathetic squeeze.

"Shhh…it's going to be fine." Sally assured her.

Fred brought her head up to look Sally in the eye. Sally's eyes were a pretty caramel brown, a colour Fred envied. Had she ever envied things when she was younger? She must have…

Yet when Fred turned her mind to the perfectly clear childhood and adolescence, she could not remember the feelings of what had happened, how it had felt or the little details that mean the most in life.

Fred tried to swallow the huge lump in her throat, and managed to get some of the words she wanted out.

"I think I'm going insane…" She said to Sally, her voice breaking at the end of the sentence. "I keep seeing things."

Sally raised an eyebrow. "What kind of things? Like, 'I see dead people', kind of things?" She tried to not chuckle, and felt better when Fred let a giggle out.

"No, not like that." The humour soon faded from the brunette's (though her hair was a very light brown) voice. "But my dreams scare me. They're all so vivid, and I can remember every detail of every second. They're terrifying."

"Fred, everyone has bad dreams." Sally said sensibly.

"Not like this…" Fred shook her head firmly. "And it's not just the dreams. It happens when I'm awake too."

"What kind of things do you see?"

"People, normally. I've seen the same man twice now. Once in a dream, once when I was awake. But sometimes I just hear words, or see things." Fred explained, trying and failing to convey the urgency of her feelings.

"So you have an imagination…that's not a bad thing!" Sally tried to convince her.

"No, you don't get it, Sally!" Fred said irritably, pushing her friend off. "I've never been to Paris!"

Sally frowned in confusion and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "What do you mean? You said you had, you described it for us and everything."

"Exactly!" Fred cried. "I've never left England, yet somehow, I could tell you exactly what the pattern of the Mona Lisa's frame is, what streets will get you to the Lourve quickest, and that the ducks there hate bread, but love cake, especially chocolate flavour."

"I don't understand…" Sally said quietly, eyeing her friend cautiously.

"That's my point. I can see it, literally see it in my memories as clearly as I can see a memory of your house. I can see it like I've been there, but I haven't." Fred said slowly, waiting for it to dawn on Sally. It didn't, for the red head couldn't quite fit the idea in her head, and subsequently changed the subject a little.

"What else is scaring you?" She tried.

Fred paused as she thought about one of the most terrifying thoughts of all.

"I think I'm losing myself…" She managed to choke out in a petrified tone. "I feel empty. Distant. It's like the harder I try to hold on, the more of me falls away."

Fred wiped frantically at the tears falling from her eyes, and attempted to pull herself together while Sally watched worriedly and wondered what to do.

"A person can't just slip away, Fred. You'll always be you," Sally tried to assure her.

"Will I?" Fred whispered.

"I think you need some rest. It's late." Sally said. "Get yourself to bed. I've got to head home. Do exactly what you're told."

"Yes Ma'am," Fred answered with a weak chuckle as she hauled herself off the couch and began walking slowly down the hall.

She climbed into bed without changing into nightclothes, and went to sleep almost instantly, strangely exhausted.

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><p><em>The call….<em>

_Come back home…come to Gallifrey…_

_No! Never! She wouldn't go back, she couldn't! _

_She would stay, stay where she belonged…with _him.

_They would simply run, run like they always had. _

_She would not go back, not after all this. She would not waste away there like the others did. She needed to be free, able to spread her wings and fly…_

_Even if it meant leaving him. The argument came between her very hearts, one refusing to leave him, the other knowing that if it did not stay in this strange place, it would be forced to go back to the conforming society that no longer fit her. _

_She would stay, but it did not stop her hearts from breaking into a million pieces as she watched his face fall when she told him, or when she watched the blue box disappear…_

_She would go on, and be the very best she could be, and entirely her own. She would be superb._

* * *

><p>Fred woke up, feeling both sad and strangely inspired at the same time. She shrugged it off and yawned before digging out the book and writing down the rather emotional dream.<p>

She sketched in the strange blue box…and sat there staring at the image for quite some time.

Why did it seem so significant?

* * *

><p><strong>Did you guys think it was any good? Was it in character? Please let me know! Reviews are the only way I am going to know what I'm doing right and what I am doing wrong. <strong>

**Also, if you haven't already, watch the video on youtube to get an idea of the theme of this story. I think the title is something like 'Tell Me That You'll Open Your Eyes - (Ten/Romana IV)' or something close! **

**Reviews please! I've got most of the next chapter written, so the fast you review, the sooner you get the chapter. **

**Thanks! **

**-MayFairy :)**


	4. Panic

**I'm sorry that this update took longer than I thought...I've been really busy. However, it's here now. **

**Also, I realised some time after I posted chapter 3 that somehow I had forgotten to thank you all for reviewing! So, HUGE doubly thanks for everyone who has reviewed the story so far, and thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: TempeJK, X3nos, Romanadora Boleyn, LegendaryPokemonMew, readandwrite4evernever, toavoidconversation, SuperfunkyGirl1, Romana-II. You're all awesome!**

**So, this chapter has a nice big dream sequence (the whole of which I wrote on my new iPod touch), involving our other fave Time Lady, the Rani! Now, my Rani is a regenerated version from the on-screen ones, mainly because I thought it would be hilarious for the Rani to be stuck in some cute, innocently looking body that's kind of short and little. But she's still scary, don't worry. There's also a slight mention of an OC in the dream sequence, it's nothing huge and that's the only other mention that there is going to be, but what can I say, I have to give my DS fans something...**

**I really hope you like it! Enjoy!**

* * *

><p><em>She watched the <em>_petite woman pace the elaborate study with an air of determination and aggravation. For some unknown reason the aura of powerful hostility displayed by the woman did not perturb her, and it had nothing to do with the fact that the woman was petite with strawberry blonde hair and grey eyes. She somehow knew that despite her outward appearance, this woman was not to be trifled with. It was perhaps connected to the feelings inside herself that felt oddly familiar and disturbingly alien at the same time. Authority, intelligence, confidence, level-headedness. She was not in possession of these things, and yet she could feel them within this version of herself. This woman that she somehow knew was her but was also a completely different person. It was strange also in the fact that they almost exactly mirrored the reassuring feelings she got when she held her fob watch._

_The angry woman was now speaking.__ Despite her youthful and innocent appearance, the hard lines of her facial expression and the solemn and deadly fire in her eyes shook any feelings of doubt that this woman was to be feared. _

_"The warp drives are critical, and we need a geothermal physics expert. No one in my legion has the capabilities." She was saying with only partially hidden stress. "We need the Doctor. For an idiot, he can be a genius sometimes." It was obvious that she did not enjoy saying the last sentence. _

_Why did they need a doctor? Surely if it was some kind of physics that they wanted, then they should send for a scientist? _

_Suddenly words were coming from her own mouth. "That is not possible. The Doctor is not available whenever you happen to decide that you need him, instead of trying to kill him as you usually do." The words had a hard edge to them, suggesting along with the tension in the room that the two women were not bosom pals. _

_The angry woman's lip curled into a mocking sneer. "Not available? What could he possible doing that's more than repairing the warp drive of the legion 5 Battle TARDIS'? What's he doing? Playing chess?" _

_Before Fred could comprehend the word 'battle' used completely seriously in the sentence, she (the woman who was somehow her) was replying with a cool and cutting tone. _

_"The Doctor is on the front line." The other woman's eyes widened a little in surprise. "It is not possible to retrieve him, and even if it were, he is too valuable a warrior to be moved." _

_Momentarily distracted from her appeal, the angry woman (or so Fred had taken to thinking of her as) smirked. _

_"How__ ironic that the man who despises violence is on the front line, where I hear that you fight for months at a time before you are allowed even to sleep for half a day. How did you persuade him to do something so against his nature?" _

_"The Doctor has fought the Daleks many times during his centuries of travel. Every time, they have thwarted him and managed to survive despite all of his efforts. Even if there was no war, his actions be very similar. Although he may deny it, I suspect that part of him is driven by revenge." She explained, and a rush of hazy memories of the man in question flooded through her mind and dream. For Fred it was hard to concentrate on them, though she suspected the woman whom she was somehow joined with, they would be clear. _

_If she was somehow this woman, how was she also herself? _

_And contrarily, if she was not this woman, how was she inside her head, with her emotions and her words falling from lips that seemed to be her own? _

_"Revenge?" The angry woman raised her left eyebrow questioningly. "Who has been lost?" _

_"Rani, have you somehow forgotten of all of our people who are fighting and dying at every point in time and space, often to be resurrected only to find another path to death?" Anger seeped through her thoughts, and Fred was surprised to realize that only a small portion of it was actually directed towards this Rani woman. _

_The Rani (the name came from the woman's thoughts into Fred's, and Fred was confused as to why she was called 'the' Rani) scowled. "President Romana - I can call you 'Romana', can't I?" The interjection was mocking in the use of the nickname that the Rani knew had been given to her by the Doctor. _

_Romana/Fred did not give the other woman the satisfaction of a heated reply. It was no time for arguments. She waited patiently for the Rani to continue on to what it was she had been about to say before the nickname jibe. _

_"Romana, are you really so young and naive as to think such a thing?" The Rani spat. "You can give me that infamous glare that supposedly made the Corsair cower, but it doesn't change the fact that you have barely lived two centuries." _

_"Are you really going to be so petty as to bring the age jabs into this?" Romana/Fred sighed boredly. "Have I not proved to be a strong President, despite my youth? Has my age ever effected my judgement? I think not."_

_The Rani looked irritated. "And yet you have the nerve to suggest that just because I may act uncaring on the outside, it means that I am not experiencing the same physical, mental, and telepathic pain caused by the death of our people, just as every one of us does!"_

_"I never suggested anything of the sort," Romana/Fred answered cooly. "But as they say on Earth, 'if you ask a stupid question, you'll get a stupid answer'. You did after all insinuate ignorance of any loss on the Doctor's part, when aside from our own people, there are also millions of innocents dying with every second that passes, their deaths written in the Web of Time only to be unravelled and forced to suffer again and again. No decent person, let alone the Doctor, would let that pass." _

_Something passed through the Rani's eyes in what Romana/Fred assumed to be a new thought. _

_"And what of the loss of your cousin? Surely that is a factor. I hear he raged for hours, and tried to leave Gallifrey to launch a full scale attack on the Daleks single-handed." The older woman asked with a knowing gaze, now clearly sure of her theory and also certain that the mention would spark__ a reaction in the President. _

_Despite knowing that it would be exactly what the Rani was looking for, Romana/Fred felt grief inspired anger surge through her. _

_"__The Doctor may have been her friend for centuries and be grieving her in his own way, but he had to accept the fact we all wish we didn't have to. The Angel is dead." The younger of the two said harshly. _

_The Rani raised an eyebrow. "And it's a good thing too. Or else she would have killed you for calling her that." The woman which they were discussing had been infamous for hating her official title. "Haven't you heard of respecting the w__ishes of the dead?" _

_"Whether she liked it or not, it was still her name, and in her passing she will be referred to as such." Romana/Fred echoed words similar to that of the many officials before her. _

_Speaking of names, this 'Romana' was perplexing. Was it her name, or the woman's, or somehow both? _

_"Her death was never confirmed." The Rani said, bringing up a topic that had been discussed many times. _

_"She's been missing for over fifty four years now." Romana/Fred said firmly. _

_"You yourself were once held by the Daleks for twenty years. You survived." _

_"Yes, but was half dead with starvation by the time I returned to Gallifrey. I doubt it would be possible for any Gallifreyan to survive thirty. To make it past fifty would be a physical impossibility." _

_The Rani looked at Romana/Fred with an unfathomable expression. "Then perhaps you should have thought of that before you didn't bother sending out search parties to find her." _

_"I did." The President was defensive. _

_"And withdrew after the first few months." _

_"We were in the middle of trying to defend Cypruss. As it was, we were too late to save the Crystalline Meadows as it was. They're nothing but bone now. Regardless of her personal value to myself and the Doctor, one woman isn't important than the whole universe." Romana/Fred snarled. _

_"The Doctor certainly thought so." The Rani's true feelings on the subject could still not be determined by her tone._

_"The Doctor let's his emotions get the better of him." _

_The Rani sneered. "He always has. He's a fool." _

_"A fool who is stopping our species from being slaughtered." Romana/Fred reminded her. "After the loss of the Master, this war has been just that __little bit harder." _

_"Resurrecting that self-obsessed idiot was the stupidest thing you have ever done. I went to school with him, and also met him more recently. Nothing has changed." The Rani said with contempt, but sounded slightly amused. _

_"He is a powerful warrior. He would have been incredibly useful had he not-" _

_"Had he not fled like the selfish coward he really is. Not even the life of thousands of different species, including his own, is important compared to his own life." The Rani finished for her President. _

_Fred could feel the agreement in Romana's mind, but the woman said nothing. _

_"I thought he would have more honor." The younger woman said after a long pause. _

_The Rani smirked patronizingly. "The Master has no honor." _

_"I gathered as much." Romana/Fred said haughtily. _

_The Rani straightened her tunic with purpose. "If the Doctor cannot help, I had best get back to my legion to attempt to find an alternative solution to fixing the wa__rp drive. Goodday to you, Lady President." _

_"Goodday, Lady Rani. May you fight gallantly and let time be gracious to your fate." _

_"Good luck to you too," The Rani smirked as she nodded respectively to her superior and left the room. _

_Now alone and unwatched, Fred felt a strange mixture of relief and defeat flood through the Romana woman. _

_Romana let her hands travel up to hold her face. Fred suddenly felt the immense pressure that was burdened on the deceivingly young woman. _

_Fred also saw Romana's thoughts turn back to this 'Doctor' man. He was an attractive man with long auburn hair, dressed in a Victorian coat and cravat. There was a rush of affection and worry clouding her thoughts of him. _

_What confused Fred was the tendency for Romana's thoughts on the Doctor to occasionally jump to the image of another man, one with wild brown curls for hair and a toothy grin. There was also at one point a flash of a third man, one with pale blonde curly hair and a patchwork coat with so many colours that it made ones eyes ache. _

_Yet in Romana's mind, they were all somehow, 'The Doctor'. And it wasn't just a passed down title, for Romana's thoughts cleary showed that they were the same man. _

_The most remarkable man..._

* * *

><p>Fred hazily became aware of being conscious as she woke up and blearily opened her eyelids to find herself looking at the blank, pale yellow wall of her bedroom.<p>

She could already feel the dream in the back of her mind threatening to slip away and didn't hesitate to sit up in her bed and pull her dream journal onto her lap to sit on her crossed legs.

She played with the 2B pencil in her hands for several seconds before lowering it onto the page and drawing the face of the Rani, being sure to add in a commanding expression that would keep the frightening air about the woman. She captioned above the woman's name before writing a long list of phrases from the dream next to the picture.

_Warp drive…_

_Geothermal physics…_

_The Doctor…a genius…_

_Needing his help instead of trying to kill him…_

_Battle TARDIS'…_

_The Doctor is on the front line…the man who despises violence…_

_The Doctor has fought the Daleks for centuries…_

_They have managed to survive…_

_Revenge…_

_Fighting and dying at every point in time and space…_

_Romana…_President_Romana…_

_Young and naïve…barely lived two centuries…_

_The Corsair…_

_Telepathic pain…_

_The death of our people…_

_As they say on Earth…_

_Millions of innocents dying…caught in the Web of Time…forced to suffer again and again…_

_Cousin…The Angel…death not confirmed…missing for decades…the Doctor raged…_

_Defend Cypruss…the Crystalline meadows nothing but bone…_

_The Doctor lets his emotions get the better of him…_

_He is a fool…who is stopping our species from being slaughtered…_

_Held prisoner by the Daleks for twenty years…_

_The Master…self-obsessed idiot…powerful warrior…he fled…no honour…_

_Defeat…pressure…_

_The Doctor…_

Fred wrote the line 'The Doctor?' along a space near the bottom of the page before drawing the three faces that were somehow all the Doctor. First the one with the extensive curls and large smile, then the one with the awful coat, and finally, the handsome one with longer hair.

She sighed defeatedly and ran her hand through her light brown hair that had the smallest tinge of strawberry blonde, similar to the Rani from her dreams.

Why did it always come down to this 'Doctor'? What was his real name? Why was it that in this Romana woman's memory, the Doctor was inexplicitly and undeniably his name?

Why was he so important?

Fred shook herself from the silly thoughts and swung her legs out from the covers and let her feet hit the floor as she got out of her bed.

_It doesn't even matter why he's important, _Fred told herself firmly as she headed for the kitchen to get a drink of water, _He's not real. He's just a figment of your imagination, that's all!_

Yet she could not help argue back briefly in her own mind with the worrying truth that she would not have the imagination to come up the idea for such a man as this 'Doctor', or for any of the things she had seen, for they were far too intricately detailed and clever for someone to just dream up…

But despite everything, if these dreams had told her anything, they all had a link…somehow, they were all about this Romana woman, and subsequently, the Doctor, this man Romana seemed to care about so much.

Fred came back to her book after she had sat in the kitchen with her water for several minutes, and when she did, she took a deep breath before writing the name 'Romana' in the title space on the front of the book.

* * *

><p>Fred managed to get through her day without any major disaster, but come sunset, she had become incredibly restless, she headed to the pub in hopes of finding something interesting to do, someone interesting to talk to, or in the worst case scenario, forget her worries amongst large amounts of alcohol.<p>

Those thoughts by themselves should have had her worried about herself, but she was past caring.

She knew it was silly, but this time when she placed her fob watch inside her large coat pocket, she paused in her actions for a moment before placing her dream journal and pencil inside it as well. She found it hard to think about leaving it alone, where she couldn't look after it. It was too precious, too private, too insane…no one could be allowed near it.

Crossing over the threshold, she was immediately overtaken by the smell of alcohol, people, and could hear music and loud talking.

She ordered a wine and sat down at the only free table. She sat there by herself for several minutes before she began looking around the pub out of boredom, only to spot a familiar face the moment before he spotted her.

The man in the bowtie (didn't he ever wear anything else?) locked eyes with her, and a huge smile broke out on his face. He began making his way over to her while she eyed him with wide eyed confusion.

"Fred, fancy meeting you here…you know, there are a lot of pubs around here, it took me three tries!" He said as he sat down opposite her. He was still wearing his ridiculous clothing, only different colours than before. He now had a dark green bowtie.

"Three tries to what?" Fred asked suspiciously, unsure if she had really detected the meaning that she thought she had.

He frowned and coughed nervously before abruptly changing the subject. "Uh, nothing. Um…how have you been?"

She eyed him carefully as she answered. "Fine…" The classic reply had no true meaning or even a faint trace of sincerity, and they both knew it. "You?" The tension rang between them and began to build up something inside her.

He shrugged awkwardly. "Yes, um, good, I suppose." His words were as hesitant and unfeeling as hers.

"Are you following me or something?" Fred found herself blurting out before she could stop her own mouth, but was glad to have said it.

"No, no!" He said quickly, shaking his head with a horrified and slightly too innocent expression. "I just saw you sitting here and thought, 'what the hell'."

She wasn't sure if she believed him, but nodded slowly regardless. She was about to find something mundane to make small talk about when she noticed his eyes had travelled down to her coat pocket, where her hand had reflexively wandered to clutch her fob watch while her brain had been whirring at John's strange appearance.

"What?" She snapped harshly at his staring and caused him to look at her with surprise.

"Sorry, what?"

"Why are you staring at my coat?"

"Well, you're holding something in there…I was just wondering what it was." John pointed out casually, nodding to the coat.

"How do you know I'm holding something?" Fred asked sharply.

John took a deep breath before launching his words out at full speed. "Well, actually, you're more sort of fondling it, and I know because I can see your hand moving in a way that tells me."

"Uh huh." Fred said flatly. "Has anyone told you that you're really strange?" _Like I'm one to talk…_She thought to herself as she considered the hypocrisy.

"They never really stop." John smiled easily, clearly not bothered by her words. "Can I see it?" His voice was gentle and soothing but the words themselves made her hearts (_hearts? What? No, HEART. Just one, no plural! What are you thinking, Fred?) _Heart beat faster.

"No." She said immediately, her free left hand covering the outside of the pocket protectively without thought.

"Why not?" He didn't sound angry at all, there was undeniable patience in the aura he gave off.

"It's private. It isn't even important anyway. Private and unimportant." Fred told him, panicking at the idea of him finding out that she had a strange old fob watch that didn't even work or open.

"The way I see it, something unimportant in turn can't be important enough to be private, and something private obviously has to be important to be private in the first place. Does that sound right?" John said sensibly, and Fred tensed as her mind grudgingly processed and accepted the logic that she had sincerely hoped he would not catch on to.

"Perhaps. It's still private."

"But it's obviously important, or else you wouldn't go to such lengths to hide it…do you think showing someone else, someone who won't judge you, might help?" John had a very soothing voice, one Fred found hard to argue with. There was something…strange and brilliant about him.

Fred slowly tightened her grasp on the watch before delicately removing it from the coat pocket and keeping it clenched tightly in her hand before placing it in his one, outstretched across the table in waiting. She felt the wrongness of the situation in the pit of her stomach as his fingers danced over _her _watch.

But something in his eyes…he was looking at the strange circular symbols on the back, his entire body frozen in some kind of shock…yet at the same time, there was a tiny element that suggested he had at least partly suspected to see whatever it was he saw…something was building in his eyes, and he put it back on the table abruptly, where Fred took the first opportunity to snatch it back and keep in her hands where it gave her comfort, only this time out in the open and not in a pocket.

He was still looking at her like he was scared to do so…eventually he gulped in some kind of preparation before attempting to speak.

"Where…" He began thickly, "Did you get that?"

Fred frowned at the odd and unexpected question. "I've…always had it. Too long ago to remember…probably some kind of childhood present." She shrugged in what she hoped was a blasé way while her fear and confusion continued to climb with fear of toppling.

John nodded slowly as though he had expected the answer. She could see his brain whirring, so deep in thought about something that she found it hard to look at him.

"You've never opened it." It wasn't a question.

"No…it's broken. How did you know that?" Fred demanded urgently, her fear again rising.

Who was this man? Asking all these questions, knowing things he shouldn't?

"It was a lucky guess," He told her, "And if you've never tried to open it, then how do you know it's broken?" His tone was beginning to gain some kind of superiority and patronization, something that made her bristle.

"It's stuck, it won't open! And why should it matter? It's just a broken old watch that doesn't do anything, it's just a stupid sentimental…thing!" Fred found her voice rising at least five decibels as her anger began to get the better of her.

"I know," He said gently, "But maybe, you could try and open it, just this once." There was some edge behind his word, she could see that for some reason he wanted her to do it.

"No!" Fred stood up abruptly, tucking the watch back into her pocket. "Who the hell are you to tell me what to do? I don't even know you, you're just some random that I happened to meet a couple of times by chance, you have no right to tell me what to do! Just stay from me-"

"-but-"

"Leave. Me. Alone." Fred said firmly, crossing her arms as she looked down on him from her standing position. "I'm going through some crazy problems of my own, with stupid dreams that don't make sense, and I think I'm going insane, I don't need some bowtie wearing stalker following me around and bringing up things that I don't want brought up!"

She made to storm out but he got up first.

"No, let me." He said quietly. "Goodbye, Fred. Good luck. And if it isn't too much to ask, just listen to me this one time. Look after the watch. Think about it, look at it. Really see it. Maybe then you'll open it. And I'm sorry. I really am. But everything is going to change when you do."

He gave her one last beseeching look before turning and walking through the crowd of people and out the door of the building. Fred watched him go with a million emotions running through her brain.

Fear, anger, confusion, hurt…his words had only made her strange world make even less sense, because he made it sound like he knew what he was talking about, what she was going through. But he didn't know anything, not about becoming insane and seeing worlds and people that didn't exist.

Fred took several deep breaths to steady herself before returning to the bar and ordering another drink, one that she was sure would be the first of many that night.

She was not wrong.

* * *

><p>The Doctor walked out of the door and into the torrential rain that had decided to grace the planet with its presence. Failure was still running through him like ice colder than the droplets of water pelting at him.<p>

He had been right, it was a fob watch. It had talked to him, whispered feelings, shown him the compassion and the unknown element that Time Lords just had when no other species did, and his hearts had soared in the hope it gave him…

This Fred girl, she was a Time Lord. The thought made his insides turn to…something he couldn't identify. There was the overwhelming feeling of joy, that he was not alone. There was also a questioning element; which Time Lord? He tried to let his mind not get carried away with that one…he couldn't go and get his hopes up. Another was worry, Fred was clearly unstable, and he wasn't about to let another Time Lord slip through his grasp when they were so close.

But he had pushed too hard, she feared him now. He would be lucky if she let him approach her again.

But he needed to watch her and make sure that she was safe…or else the Time Lord within the watch would never get a chance to live…

He positioned himself in a spot inside the window of another nearby pub where he would be able to see if she left. Whether she liked it or not…she was stuck with him now.

* * *

><p><strong>Okay, so, please let me know what you thought, specifically:<strong>

**-the dream sequence**

**-the Doctor seeing the watch**

**-Fred getting annoyed at him**

**-any quotes you liked**

**-and just generally anything else you want to say. **

**Thank you to all, I hope to get your lovely reviews soon! **

**-MayFairy :)**

**p.s. I'm halfway through the E-Space trilogy, I've almost watched all of the Romana stuff! XD**


	5. Capture

**I'm sorry that it's been over a month, I had a temporary block, and I really had to get a DS chapter out. **

**I'm also depressed because I've finished all the Romana serials...though I am going to be buying the Key to Time boxset soonish, and then I can watch Romana I's awesomeness all over again! **

**Thanks to all who reviewed: mad eye harry, Romana-II, Mrs. 11th, SuperFunkyGirl1, readandwrite4evernever20, DarkZoneWitch, Hannah, badwolf907, Allebasii, bellsbabeyxoxox3kiss, Dragones (x2), Caligo Origuu, ZackAttack96, emROARS...**

**That makes a total of 15 reviews, which is a definite inprovement! Thanks so much, guys! I love you all. :)**

**So, this starts Fred's real downhill drop, as well as a more indepth meeting and interaction with Eleven, plus a lovely little memory/dream tidbit. Pretty angsty, this one...and the Doctor finds out something important in this chapter too... ;)**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Fred twirled the empty beer glass around the table with her slightly uncoordinated hands, trying to figure out if, in her current state of heavy intoxication, it amused her or not. After another half minute of twirling and careful observation philosophy she decided that it did not and stilled the glass immediately. Groaning, she stood up before suffering from a headrush which she didn't allow to get in her of her pushing through the swarm of equally people as she headed to the bar for yet another drink.<p>

Before she could get there, she realized belatedly that someone was touching her, and spun around only to slap the man's hand away as she turned around and tilted her head up to look at him.

"Aw, don't be like that," He purred sickeningly, and Fred felt bile rise in her stomach and put it half down to his actions and half down to the alcohol. But as he made another grab for her she glared and pushed his hands away with as much force as she could muster.

"Go away," She said with surprising firmness for a drunk.

He paid her words no attention as he tried again, and she grabbed his finger and pulled it back until his face twisted in pain. She gave it another sharp jerk as she shoved him away and she heard something in his finger snap.

"I said, stay away from me, you stupid ape!" Fred snarled and her anger that was already amplified grew as the man instead of being reasonable, began hurling various insults and curses as her.

Now that she thought about it, she didn't know what had made her say those strange words. But she knew that she would have to think about it later.

The man had grabbed her shoulders roughly and squeezed them so hard that pain shot through her shoulder. She wriggled in attempt to get away and brought her hand up to slap him harshly across the face. He cursed and growled menacingly before pushing her backwards with such a force that she fell to the ground several feet behind where she had been standing.

Dazed, Fred barely registered someone stepping in front of her opponent and trying to break up the fight, only to get shoved to the side.

After ten minutes, both Fred and her opponent were battered and bruised, and their surroundings had suffered just as much as they had. By this point neither were really fighting towards the stand they had been at the beginning, but merely spurred on but delirious rage.

Suddenly they found themselves being pulled apart by people stronger and 100% more sober than themselves. Fred quickly turned around and punched the person holding in the face in her attempt to get free, and looking angry, he muttered something that she couldn't hear before retaliating. Fred felt an unfamiliar and cold sensation around her wrists (which had been shoved roughly behind her back) that she realized were handcuffs.

Was she being arrested?

She couldn't bring herself to care, her rage was too great, she wanted to scream at the world in an attempt to find someone who cared, someone who could make sense of the madness she felt, someone who decipher the dreams she had whenever she slept, and plagued her thoughts whenever he didn't.

As the men in uniform were leading her out if the pub, Fred felt a wave of dizziness pass through her. They roughly shoved her in the back of the police car, and the moment she rested her head on the head rest behind her, she felt unconsciousness pull her down into its dark and tantalizing depths.

* * *

><p>Fred found herself being roused awake as they led her out of the police car, but barely registered her surroundings in her half-conscious state. It wasn't until the lights in the interrogation room she couldn't remember entering turned on that she became more aware of her surroundings. Even then, it took the realization that they were searching her pockets for her to react and push them away.<p>

"Stop it!" She protested angrily.

"Miss, we have the legal rights to search you and check that you aren't carrying anything dangerous." The younger of the two policemen said, not unkindly.

"I haven't got a gun or anything like that..." Fred snapped, but her last three words came out very slurred.

"We still need to check."

After removing her cell phone, one of them pulled out her fob watch and placed on the table before she had a chance to snatch it back. But when her dream journal came out, Fred found her fingers gripping it so hard that she felt her fingers might break as she played tug-of-war with the older, grumpier policeman who was trying to wrestle it out of her hands.

After finally pulling it out of her hands, the policeman opened the journal and flicked through the pages of her strange and irregular dreams.

"What is this?" He asked with skepticism that showed he didn't know whether to be disgusted or amused.

Freezing momentarily, Fred made up the first thing that came into her head and actually made sense.

"I have strange dreams sometimes, I write down the ideas…I'm thinking of using them for a form of fiction." She lied blandly, though part of it was true.

"We'll need to check it over properly before you get it back," He replied in an uncaring manner.

Fred found her attention wavering again, and everything passed in a daze, until suddenly she woke while being lead into a cell with only a bench to sit on.

"What did I do wrong?" She demanded, grabbing the cell bars angrily.

"Public disturbance, violence to a citizen-" The younger policeman began to list, as his partner had gone off to catalogue her belongings.

"He started it!"

"-and assaulting an officer."

Fred looked him square in the eyes through the bars before rolling her own eyes very deliberately.

"You know what?" She said hardly, "I don't even care anymore."

She pushed herself away from the bars and sat down on the bench, pointedly ignoring him.

How had it come to this? A month ago, if she had been told that on this date, she would be in a jail cell, she would have laughed at how ridiculous it sounded.

Such blind anger had taken a hold of her, landed her in a dank place that made her more uncomfortable than it should, just because some stupid man had gotten too drunk and for some reason she had gotten so mad at him…

What had she called him? A 'stupid ape'? What did that even mean?

_I swear that half of the things I say, think and dream don't make sense these days…_Fred thought to herself glumly.

And what of this John Smith man, who seemed to know – or thought he knew – what was wrong with her, who for some reason followed her around like some strange stalker…but he wasn't creepy like a stalker (not entirely, anyway), he was nice, kind, and had that strange aura around him that made her trust him…and yet at the same time she didn't trust him.

Goodness, her thoughts made no sense.

Sliding off the bench and onto the floor, Fred leaned against the wall examined her cell in more detail. It was too small and a little too dark, and made her feel terrified, as though she had been imprisoned before and something terrible had happened. The thought sent a shiver up her spine, and hoping to get away from her troubling thoughts, she closed her eyes to catch up on the much needed sleep she had deprived herself of.

* * *

><p><em>Metal voices, spoken in a dull yet terrifying monotone, the grinding of the movement weaving through their words and taking over her ears completely. <em>

_The shiny bulk of their bodies whenever they came to observe her…to look at the once great Lady President of Gallifrey, now a pitiful and weak woman who could barely speak._

_Never had she felt so helpless, merely moving her head caused her entire body to ache with overwhelming exhaustion, and her stomach panged constantly for the food and nourishment it could never get here. _

_The once fine clothing she had worn was mere rags now, but modesty was behind her in this desperate struggle to survive despite having been trapped for over 20 years…she shivered as the cold bit into her without any clothing to hinder it in its mission to make her existence even more miserable than it already was. _

_There had been a time when she had been able to stare a Dalek in the eye and not betray any of the fear bottling inside. But now, she was so physically and mentally exhausted, all resilience had been beaten from her, and now she would stare at a Dalek with a blank and unfeeling look, and flinch whenever one looked at her with any hint of malicious intent. _

_What she wouldn't give to see daylight again, to have the strength to once again get up and walk…her limbs had long since stopped functioning due to the stationary position they had had to assume when she had lost all the strength to keep them moving and able. _

_She had always tried to be a positive person, but this was one situation where she could see no hope at all, no chance of escape. _

_She thought of the one man who should be here, who should be able to fix it and rescue her…that's what they did, they rescued each other, but this time he wasn't here…_

_She wished for death, for surely death was better than this…_

* * *

><p>The first thing she was aware of was her body shaking violently, with some kind of sobbing. She was curled on the floor of her cell, gasping for breath. Tears were running down her cheeks, the dream had been so vivid, so horrifying, she didn't know how this Romana could have lived through it, the never-ending pain and exhaustion…<p>

Fred felt the sobs starting up again as flashes of the dream came back. Part of her wanted to reach for her dream journal and write down the dream while it was still horribly fresh in her mind but she knew that the policemen still had it.

She heard the grinding of metal which she barely recognised as the sound of her cell door opening, and the footsteps of someone entering seemed unimportant in comparison to the horror she had witnessed in her own mind.

Suddenly someone was pulling her off the floor, but not roughly, with a comforting gentleness that took her by surprise, as warm arms encircled her and held her as though she were the most breakable thing on the planet.

"Shhh…it's going to be fine…I'm going to help you," A somewhat familiar voice whispered as hands stroked her hair soothingly. Fred recovered enough to look up and see that it was John Smith holding her, and at that point she couldn't care that he was a strange stalker, just that his presence made everything easier to bear, and he was here, holding her close and keeping her together, and it was _wonderful._

* * *

><p>The Doctor had seen Fred being led away in a police car, which then meant he had to ask around for a long time to find out where the police station was.<p>

Perhaps the fact that she had been arrested would suggest a more angry persona, such as the Rani? He remembered with some amusement the Rani's reaction to her last body, as he had been there when she had regenerated. She had _not _been happy to be so small, but his ex-friend turned enemy and occasional reluctant ally still took great pleasure in goading him whenever she could.

Yes, the Rani was very unpleasant, but she would be better than the Master (in some ways, at least), and she would be better than no one at all. He needed someone, someone who could help fill the huge, empty chasm in his head where the comforting presence of other Time Lords had been so cruelly snatched from him.

Using the psychic paper to bluff his way in, he demanded to see all the belongings that had been confiscated from Fred. There were a couple of mundane objects such as a mobile phone and a random pen, but it was the fob watch and journal that caught his attention.

What was this book, what was in it, and would it have clues to who Fred was?

The Doctor took it in his hands, and read the name printed on the cover. He nearly dropped the book in surprise as his hearts began to race at double speed.

No, it couldn't be…his mind raced ahead, but kept telling him that it was impossible, that she of all people had no chance of surviving…but his hearts were holding a breath of hope.

He began frantically reading and looking through the book, reading the words written and pictures drawn. There were three of his own faces, with his name above them, and the Rani.

Little things like the scarf, and the mention of the Nimons, and Rassilon and Gallifrey…there was no doubt, Fred was a Time Lord, and the contents of the book suggested one in particular.

There was even a picture of the TARDIS, and K-9.

It was the one picture that almost convinced him, the picture of the woman with a broken clock for a face, the one a man in Paris had drawn of Romana just before they had gotten tangled up in the business with all the Mona Lisa's.

But then he found the page of writing, where she had written some form of diary entry in the journal.

_I don't understand…these dreams don't make sense. Perhaps they are just strange ones, but they are too vivid, too full of things too wild and frightening that I would never have the imagination to create. _

_All these words I don't understand, all these faces of horrible creatures…people who have different faces but are still somehow the same person…_

_And in my most recent dream, the one with the small woman called 'The Rani', I was seeing it from a first person perspective, but I wasn't me, I was someone else altogether. _

_She was called Romana, and she was President of some place or thing called Gallifrey…there was some kind of war, with so many people dying…Romana seemed to be in charge of it all, though they both said that she was very young, even though they were talking about living for centuries, which is impossible! And these things called Daleks, I don't know what they were, they never really said, but I think that's what they were fighting. They kept talking about a man called the Doctor…_

_It was so strange, because I felt like me, but then I was speaking, and I was Romana, living as a person who I have never met! Am I her, or she me, and if not, why did I see it through her eyes?_

_Also, I believe there is more to this Doctor than they let on…Romana's feelings would go a little strange and affectionate whenever she thought about him…_

_I'm so scared. I can feel parts of myself slipping away, like I'm tumbling down the rabbit hole into a completely different sort of Wonderland…_

The entry ended there, and the Doctor bent over the book, so deep in thought, emotion and hope that he could not speak or think clearly for several moments.

Could it be, that Romana, _his _wonderful Romana had been here all this time?

He had been alone for at least a year now, Amy and Rory had left to live together in Leadworth just like they always were going to, and he had seen River for the last time, knowing that she was now dead. It had nearly broken him.

He reached for the fob watch, and thinking of what Tim Latimer had told him all those years ago, opened it. He heard first the voice of Romana's first incarnation, then her second calling his name…

"_My name is Romanadvoratrelundar…"_

"_Doctor, help!" _

Hearing her voice nearly undid his emotion barriers, and he felt a single tear run down his cheek as he snapped the watch shut again.

Before he could decide what to do next, he heard a noise which sounded like a scream, and he was fairly sure that it was Fred's. He ran, following the sound of her voice until he got to the cell, where he could see Fred curled in the foetal position on the floor. He sonicked the door open and rushed to her side immediately. He gathered her trembling form in his arms gently and held her. He pulled her off the floor and let her rest her head on his chest.

"Shhh…it's going to be fine…I'm going to help you, I promise!" The Doctor whispered to her as he stroked her beautiful hair.

They stayed like that for a number of minutes. Fred eventually lifted her head and brought her tear-stained pale blue eyes up to look into his own green ones.

"Who are you?" She whispered fearfully.

He paused before replying sincerely. "A friend."

"You keep talking to me like you know what I'm going through, what's happening to me, almost like its normal. How do you know?" She was leaning away from him a little now, embarrassed about being so close to him.

"I…I can't tell you. Not yet." He said lamely, sighing. She pushed away from him irritably, getting to her feet and facing away from him.

"Then how do you expect me to trust you, John? I keep having these crazy, weird, _horrible _dreams, and I can't stand it! I don't know why whatever this is is happening to me, but I can tell that you know." Fred lashed out, glaring at him. "Until you're ready to give me some answers, stay the hell away from me. You got that?"

"Crystal clear," He said quietly, staring at her sadly.

"Now get out of my cell."

The Doctor did as she asked, and just as he had shut the door, a young ginger woman about the same age as Fred burst into the room.

"Fredrica Taylor, what have you got yourself into this time?" She asked her friend in exasperation.

"Just get me out of here, Sal." Fred said weakly, grasping the bars.

"Already done, Fred, you're free to go," Sally assured her, and opened the cell to give her friend a large hug before leading her out of the room.

"Thanks, Sally."

The Doctor watched them go, and the moment they were out of sight he flew to the computer at the nearby desk, using the sonic to hack into the system. He searched 'Frederica Taylor' and found Fred's address, which he knew that he would need someday soon.

He cleared the history and left the police station, heading back to the TARDIS to skip a week ahead and pay a visit to Fred, in hopes of retrieving the Time Lady he now knew was hiding beneath the human exterior…Romana.

The thought made his hearts pound with anticipation, and he smiled.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you liked it! What did you think of how Eleven found out about Romana? Of my take on Romana being prisoner to the Daleks for twenty years? The DoctorFred interaction? **

**Please review and let me know what you think, specifically the questions I posed above!**

**-MayFairy :)**

**p.s. for those who follow any of my other stories, you can expect an update on 100 moments and Precipitant Reunion soonish...**


	6. Truth

**I'm sorry the update took so long! I just had some mock exams and stuff, so yeah. But the good news is, this is the second to last chapter, and then after that, just an epilogue. **

**To my DS fans, I'm so sorry the update is taking so long, the Amelia Earhart/Zygon arc is being a total pain in the butt. But I've started planning the next chapter in detail, so, soon I will be able to sit down and be able to write without getting stuck every hundred words or so. Please, patience, I beg of you! :)**

**Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: toavoidconversation, readandwrite4evernever20, SuperFunkyGirl1, Allebasii, Mrs. 11th, Dragones, IreneHolmes, ZackAttack96, Romanadora Boleyn, and WildCard-Yes Man! You are all awesome. :D**

**So this chapter has a lot of Eleven, so that's good. I really do love writing him, he's MY Doctor, if you know what I mean. **

**Also, this chapter HAS SO MUCH ANGST. It's borderline ridiculous, but I do love angst so :) So yeah, lots of emotions running high. Also, a neat little dream sequence that I quite like. There was supposed to be another one, but this chapter ended up being much longer than planned, so now it will be in the next chapter. **

**On another note, I wrote this listening to: The Death of Toshiko (Torchwood), Remembering Jenny, Waking Willow, and Close Your Eyes (those three are from BtVS). I would recommend listening to any of the while reading, it sets the right sort of mood, but either way, hopefully it will be good. **

**I like this chapter a lot, I find the dynamics in it really enjoyable, so hopefully that's good? (Knowing my luck, it will actually be terrible and I'm just kidding myself)**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Fred sat in her house, the wind howling outside and making her jump whenever it made the house rattle and creak. Her hands clutched a cup of coffee far more tightly than necessary, and she took a wary sip as she stared at the blank yellow wall, not really seeing it.<p>

She had become like a shadow, hovering around the edge of a person without being the person.

"What's wrong with me?" She whispered, and shoved her mug along the kitchen counter, away from her.

Fred stood up and walked slowly into her living room, feeling almost lifeless as she sat down on her couch with her dream journal. She opened it up and began reading it from the beginning, feeling the strange knowledge fill her with both horror and comfort at the same time.

This thing that kept being mentioned, the Time War, it contained horrors that made her scream in her sleep, and she was torn between the disbelief and fear that anything that terrible could exist, and the slight comfort that said she may have simply made it up.

But this Romana…it was all about her…who was she?

A President of a planet called Gallifrey, who fought in the war against a species called the Daleks…this much she had managed to work out from all her dreams being pieced together.

There was only one real question left, really.

Were her dreams real, and if so, how was she linked to this Romana woman?

But at the same time, how could they be reality? Everything in them was impossible!

She found her fingers tracing over the faces of 'The Doctor'. He seemed so important, so key to everything. Her dreams told her that he was good at fixing crisis', and she wished that if all this was real, that he could appear and help her.

She sighed heavily and went to bed with her dream journal, tucking it under her pillow.

* * *

><p><em>Fred was in a large room, with wooden paneled walls and a high ceiling. The only object in the room was a full length mirror, with an intricately carved wooden frame. She found herself walking towards it without thought. She stood directly in front of it, and lifted her eyes to look at her reflection. <em>

_She jumped; for as well as her own face staring back at her, clad in jeans and a shirt, there were three others. _

_Two were on either side of her own reflection, and another stood in the background. _

_The first was a great beauty, with perfectly arched eyebrows and fine brown curls of hair that rested in place on her shoulders. She looked proud, standing tall in a floor length white dress, one that looked as though it belonged to a princess, but also as though she believed in justice. _

_The second was pretty, but in a more subtle way than the first. Her almost childlike features were kind, framed by long golden strawberry blonde hair. Her clothes were strange, and Fred realized that it was some kind of matching outfit to the man with the scarf, only her coat was pink and her scarf was white. Thinking about it, the woman looked a little like Fred herself. _

_The third looked like someone she would be intimidated by, but for some reason, she wasn't. She had roughly cropped dark hair and harsh features, with cold calculating eyes. She wore robes with a large headdress that rested on her shoulders and came up behind her head. _

_Who were these women? They all had so much intelligence in their eyes, it was almost unnerving. _

_Suddenly, her own reflection changed, her clothes morphing until they matched those of the third woman's. And while this reflection still looked like her, it no longer felt like her. The look in her eyes was different; she now possessed the same eerie intelligence._

_"Fred, you must let go...open the watch. Free me." Her new reflection said, and Fred felt as though it was someone else talking to her, not her own reflection. _

_The other reflections faded, all with an expression of melancholy on their faces, and her reflection changed back into her, with the familiar clothes and the eyes that looked like hers. _

_But she could still feel the presence of the others, watching her…_

* * *

><p>Over the next couple of days, Fred stayed in the house, not going out or answering her phone. Whenever she passed a mirror she kept imagining the three faces in it, and began staring into mirrors for long periods of time so as to try and decipher what was wrong with her.<p>

She was sitting on the couch, flicking through the various channels in a meandering manner. The phone began to ring, but Fred didn't move, merely turned the TV off and waited for the call to go to answer phone.

"_Fred?" _ It was Sally, sounding very worried, and unsurprisingly so. _"Fred, can you just answer the phone? Please, I'm really worried about you. Look, just, call me if you get this, okay?" _

Her friend sounded defeated, and Fred found guilt surging through her. Part of her ached for the comfort of the mysterious man, John Smith.

Thinking about it more objectively, that probably wasn't his real name. John Smith indeed!

But regardless of his name, she thought back to those moments in the police cell when her arms were around her, and how things had felt so much better.

* * *

><p>After having actually left the house to go down to the shops for food, Fred was warily walking down the street around the corner from her house when she saw something that made her drop her shopping.<p>

The blue police box standing on the sidewalk, just casually as though it was no strange thing for it to be there. It was exact in every detail, it was exactly like the ones she had seen in her dreams, and the one that was drawn in her journal.

Picking up the shopping bags, she rushed over to the box and placed her food on the ground again so as to properly survey the box. The moment she touched the wooden panels, she felt a slight surge of warmth flow through her. Her hand flattened against the door to try and decipher the feeling.

It almost seemed…alive.

But how could it be here? It wasn't real, none of it was! Just dreams, the ridiculous dreams of a woman who was losing not only her sanity, but her very humanity too. And yet it was here, screwing her already exhausted brain over even more.

Her eyes ran over the door with a sudden anticipation, as though she expected the man with the scarf to emerge from it at any moment and grin at like her he did in dreams.

Or more realistically, wonder who the strange woman was standing outside his box.

Or even more realistically, there would be no man at all, just a strange police box that happened to be here by _total coincidence. _

This is what Fred told herself repeatedly, but she couldn't make herself believe it. The reality of the box's existence had permanent embedded itself into her brain and there was no way to get it out. What had it been called? A TARDIS? Was this a TARDIS?

Before she could think of the matter anymore, she heard a shout from some distance away, and when she turned to the noise reflexively, she was both surprised and abruptly worried to see 'John Smith' walking towards her, in his usual ridiculous bowtie. She jumped like a startled deer and picked up her shopping bags and set off down the road away from him as fast as she could.

She couldn't see him, not yet. Seeing the box…TARDIS…thing had set her deeply on edge, unsettling her to the point of having shivers constantly running through her body. And he was too good with words, too…the word needed escaped her, there was a word that fit him and only him, and she did not know it. But that quality in him was far too clever, too persuasive.

Fred hurried home as fast as she could, ignoring his shouts from behind her.

* * *

><p>The Doctor was returning from a pleasant stop at the chip shop (Rose had certainly left him with what seemed to be a permanent love of chips) when he saw someone standing next to his TARDIS in the distance. And as he got closer, he saw that they were also touching it, far too closely for a mere casual observer. Then he noticed the hair and facial features as he got closer, and it clicked.<p>

It was Fred. Fred who was Romana. Fred who was the human version of a new regenerated Romana whom he hadn't met.

He found it incredible how much he was able to ramble both mentally and vocally.

But back to the point…

Romana.

He still had trouble getting the thought into his head. She was alive, she was really alive, and so, _so _close…

The Doctor called out to her, hoping to strike up a conversation which would hopefully lead to her getting one step closer to opening the watch and giving him Romana back, but the moment she turned and saw him she ran away faster than someone could say 'Gallifrey'.

She was scared, that much was obvious, but he wasn't going to let that stop him. He quickly began to follow.

* * *

><p>Fred slammed the front door shut hurriedly as she entered her house, and slid the chain lock across with equally impressive speed. She then placed her groceries in the kitchen and began making tea. The kettle was still boiling when there was a knock at the door. She stiffened; after all, the question of who was at the front door was one quite easily guessed with a large likelihood of being correct.<p>

Fred stood still for a few moments, weighing her options in her head. But in the end she felt her shoulders slump in defeat, she needed to talk to him whether she liked it or not, and this may be the only chance she would get. Fred bustled her way over to the door and opened the door a little, letting the chain lock stop it from opening further than a few inches.

Sure enough, there was a green eye full of wisdom and age staring back at her, and below that, a weirdly friendly grin.

"Hello, Fred," He said cheerily, "I was thinking that maybe we could have that talk now. I think we both know that you need it."

Without even asking why he had followed her, without even stopping for a moment to be bothered by his fixation on her, without even worrying about how what she was about to do could backfire so easily…she opened the door properly and let him in.

She eyed his lanky form as it stood in the entrance area of her house, and met his eyes with fear in her own.

"Will you explain? Explain this? Who you are? Who I am? Why this is happening to me?" She whispered, and she could feel her hands shaking slightly.

His brow furrowed and his childlike cheerful demeanor vanished to be replaced by genuine concern and gentleness.

"Permission to hug?" He asked slowly, and the question took her by surprise, but she nodded silently while looking at the floor, somehow knowing that a hug from him would help. He took a few steps forward and wrapped his arms around her, holding her to his chest.

The Doctor resisted the urge to rest his chin on the top of her head, but knew that it would be overstepping the line. She was so fragile already, he couldn't dare to do anything that might break her.

"Now," He began, "That was a long list of questions, and frankly, I think it would be best if we worked through it one by one. So where do you want to start?"

Fred pulled away from him and searched his face appraisingly. "Do you like tea? I was just about to make some," She said, sniffing and looking unsure.

"Yes, tea would good. Love tea." He nodded, and followed her into the kitchen where she got two cups out. "Haven't got any Jammie Dodgers, have you?"

Fred cocked an eyebrow but pointed to the plastic shopping bag on the bench. "Help yourself."

A few minutes later, 'John Smith' was sitting on one of her kitchen stools while she stood opposite from him across the kitchen bench while he happily dunked his jammie dodgers into the tea. After he had eaten three, he pushed the packet away as his expression turned serious again.

"So, the questions. Where do you want to start?" He asked again, gazing at her intently.

"Who are you?" Fred asked simply. "And no more of this John Smith nonsense, please. Tell me your name."

He hesitated for a moment, as though he knew he was about to say something bad.

"Please." She said again.

His green eyes met hers. "I'm the Doctor."

Fred's heart skipped a beat, and she felt a gasp slip from her lips in the exact moment that the cup slipped from her fingers. It landed next to her foot and shattered, the pieces of china scattering.

"You…you can't be…" She stammered, taking a step backwards and accidentally stepping on the broken cup pieces. Her noise of pain as she half-fell on the floor caused the Doctor to quickly come to her aid, grabbing her by the arms to stop her from hitting the floor.

Her foot was bleeding a lot, a drip of it travelling down to hit the pale blue tile beneath them, only to be followed by another.

"Here," He said, putting her arm around his shoulders and helping her limp into the living room and sit on the sofa. "Do you have bandages?"

She told him where and he soon returned with the bandages and a dampened cloth.

"You don't have to do this, you know," Fred said quietly as she watched him, her foot on his lap as he gingerly dabbed at it with the cloth, his head bent devotedly over his work. He lifted his head to look at her with a tender expression.

"It's alright, it's what I do…I'm the Doctor, the man who makes people better," He said with an almost joking tone, but when he said his name, Fred felt another surge of panic rush through her.

"Are you really him?" Her voice came out a bare whisper, almost lost in the small distance between them.

He said nothing, merely shot her a look that spoke more than any affirmative word could.

"I used to think that my dreams weren't real. It was so easy, so logical to think so. But then I saw that police box-" Fred said, leaning her head against the soft comfort of the couch cushions.

"The TARDIS," The Doctor interrupted, but not unkindly, and Fred nodded stiffly.

"-after that, I didn't know what to think. I told myself that it was just a coincidence, but somehow I just couldn't convince myself, part of me knew that it was the TARDIS. And then you arrived, saying that you're the Doctor-"

"I _am _the Doctor."

"Well, maybe you are. Did you know a woman called Romana? In my dreams she thought about you a lot." Fred asked, and saw something flash dangerously in his eyes.

"Yes, I did. She travelled with me." He replied in a tone of forced calm as he put down the cloth and picked up the bandages, beginning to wind them around her foot.

"Why did she stop?"

"Our people-"

"The Time Lords?" Fred interjected, and he nodded briskly before continuing.

"They wanted her back."

So far, what he was saying matched up to what Fred's dreams had told her.

"Did she go back?"

"No. She stayed behind in a place called E-Space."

"Did she ever leave E-Space?"

The Doctor shot her a cheeky smile. "You tell me."

Fred looked away from him, frowning. "You brought her back, wearing some ridiculous coat…"

"Oh, you would rem- I mean – see that bit, wouldn't you?" He said in exasperation, looking almost irritated, but definitely embarrassed.

"Well…I think you are the Doctor. At least, what you're saying matches my dreams." Fred said eventually, and he looked pleased. He at that point also finished bandaging her foot.

"There, good as new!" He announced grandly.

"Thank you."

"Possibly time for a new question, then?" The Doctor suggested. She gulped.

"Why is this happening to me?" Fred whispered.

"Okay…" He began equally quietly, and he shifted closer to her on the couch, taking her hands in his reassuringly. "This next bit is a bit scary, but don't worry, you _can _do this."

Fred stared at him with wide, frightened eyes of that pretty pale green colour that reminded him of snow-covered leaves.

"Why? What's going on?" She asked worried.

He coughed a little before beginning. "You recall that my people were called Time Lords, yes?"

"Yes, they were…aliens." Fred answered, and blinked in surprise as she realized something. "You're an alien."

"Yes," He chucked lightly, "Just don't go spreading it around and we'll be fine."

"Okay," Fred replied with a slight grin.

"Now, if we ever needed to, to escape something or for whatever reason, we Time Lords could make ourselves human." He explained. "Our entire cell structure would change, our second heart would shrink into nothing…"

"You have two hearts?" Fred blurted out. The Doctor nodded and took her hand, placing it gently on the left side of his chest, letting her feel its rhythm before moving it to the right side, and her eyes widened. She then took control, her hand guiding his to the left side of her chest, over her heart.

The Doctor smiled when he felt the gentle human heartbeat, but couldn't help its slight falter when her hand moved his to the other side, and he could feel nothing.

"One human heart," He deducted solemnly, and tried not to show how much the words affected him. "But yes, we can change into a human, not permanently, just for a while, if we need to 'lie low'."

"How can you temporarily change species?" Fred inquired incredulously.

"We store our Time Lord self away, somewhere where no one will look, not even ourselves. Because the human self will forget all memories of being a Time Lord, they just live a normal human life, and that's why it's always someone else who gets them to release their true self. The human will never realize until the very end that they were not who they thought they were. That they weren't real." He said, remembering with a surge of guilt how he created John Smith just to kill him again, and thought of how it would be the same for Fred.

It wasn't fair, she was such a sweet and innocent person, plagued by dreams. She wasn't real, not really. She didn't have parents, she didn't have siblings. She had never grown up in England. She was just a shield that Romana was hiding behind, a shield that was going to be cast away and left for nothing very soon.

But the guilt was rising too high, so he pushed it down and forced a smile.

"Where do you store it? Your Time Lord self?" Fred asked.

The Doctor took a deep breath, for he knew this to be the moment of truth. "In a watch. Specifically, a fob watch."

Fred's eyes widened and darted to the fob watch that was sitting on her coffee table before returning to rest on the Doctor, panic and fear blazing in them.

"I have a fob watch," She whispered.

"Yes, you do." He said solemnly.

"Lots of people have fob watches," Fred said quickly, sliding away from him a little, but she cursed herself at how much her words just sounded like an excuse.

"Yes, of course they do," The Doctor said, getting up off the couch as he felt the need to move, "Lots of people have fob watches, but that doesn't necessarily mean that lots of people are really Time Lords, after all, sometimes a watch is just that; a watch." He stopped in his pacing to lock eyes with Fred, his knowing gaze piercing through her emotional barriers. "But you know that this time, it's much more than that."

Fred froze as her mind processed his impossible words, and the even more impossible meaning behind them. And then, she snapped.

"Get out." She said slowly, and he blinked in surprise before narrowing his eyes and shaking his head.

"Fred, you need to hear this, you need to understand…" He said firmly, but when he tried to approach her, she only pushed him away forcefully, her face enraged and distraught.

"Oh, I understand perfectly," Fred snarled, "You think you can just come in here and tell me that I'm not real? That I'm really some freaky alien with two hearts?"

"I didn't mean it like that, it's not that simple, there is so much more to it than that-" The Doctor tried to say, but she shook her head furiously, and began shoving him towards the door.

"It's very simple," She retorted, both of them now next to the door. She held it open, but did not make him leave. The anger was still in every action she did and every word she said, but the desperation and insecurity was leaking through. "You know who I really am, so you're going to tell me. If what you say is true, then who am I, Doctor?"

The Doctor met her eyes evenly. "I think you know who you are."

Fred hesitated, taking in his words and trying to convince herself that she had no idea what he was talking about, but he was right, the answer was there, just waiting for the question that Fred now knew to ask.

"Get out." She said again, and he walked through the door onto her exterior entrance mat. She then stood in the doorway.

"Alright." He said simply. "But one more thing."

She waited, trying to hold back a complete breakdown.

"You're going to meet a good friend of mine very soon, and when you do, I want you to give her a message from me." He said, surveying her.

"Alright," She agreed grudgingly, "What's the message?"

The Doctor paused for a moment before leaning forward and kissing Fred gently. Only for a few moments, and then he broke the contact between them and walked away without another word.

* * *

><p>Before Fred could register anything, his lips were on hers. Her entire body froze with shock. It made no sense, and was over before she could react.<p>

She watched him leave, still not having moved. Then whatever it was that had been holding her during those moments snapped like an elastic band and the devastation crashed over her once again, drowning her.

Fred slammed the door shut, feeling the tears running down her face. She leaned back against the door, her body convulsing with sobs that just wouldn't stop. Her legs gave out, and she hit the blue carpeted floor with an audible thump.

_Not real…_

The two words and all the thoughts around them swirled in her head so painfully, with such earth-shattering truth and force that she cried out in almost physical pain.

How could what he said be true? How could it not?

If it was not real, none of it, then how could it hurt this much?

* * *

><p><strong>I hope that the way she found out about the whole fob watch thing was done well, I'm very nervous about it. Let me know your thoughts on that, as well as her reaction to it. Was it too overdone, too angry?<strong>

**Please review and let me know! **

**-MayFairy :)**

**p.s. I have two Romana one-shots which I would really appreciate some feedback on:**

**_Confusing Thoughts in Paris:_ Four/Romana II, set in Paris. It plays with Four thinking about Romana's schoolgirl outfit in ways that confused him, and it's just generally very fluffy. **

_**Feeling the Sunlight Slip Away: **_**Four/Romana II again, this time it's a sort of Full Circle expansion, because that scene in the beginning is so touching and heartbreaking, so my fic just expands on that and gives it more shippy goodness than the original. **

**So if you could check those out too, it would be awesome. **

**:)**


	7. Becoming

**Finally, an update! :)**

**Sorry for the wait...but to make up for it, the chapter is EXTRA long. As in, the size of my DS chapters long. Mainly because the writing out of Romana's memories took up a lot of space. **

**Thanks to all who reviewed the last chapter: Spirit-of-the-Rain, Mrs 11th, toavoidconversation, AngelsOnTheMoon98, SuperFunkyGirl1, readandwrite4evernever, DarkZoneWitch, ZackAttack96, Dragones, and !**

**And also thanks to my entirely anonymous reviewer, your review is much appreciated. :)**

**So, this chapter was originally going to be the final one (excluding an epilogue), but due to the hugeness, there will be another before the epilogue. **

**And yes, this is the chapter you have all been waiting for from the start. She's going to open the watch. Also, Romana I makes an appearance of sorts, which is exciting because she's so awesome, being the original Romana and all. **

**Also, I HIGHLY recommend listening to 'Open Your Eyes' by Snow Patrol while reading. It's basically THE fob watch song. Also, there is an epic music solo which is perfect for when she opens the watch and is remembering. **

**I'm also in a dilemna about the appearance of my Romana IV. I have been imagining her as Rachel Hurd-Wood, but now I'm not sure. Have any of you got anyone in mind? I'm leaning towards Imogen Poots...**

**Enjoy!**

**p.s. Romana's memories are very long winded, giving lots of detailed scenes and some briefer ones. Hopefully you guys don't mind, there will probably some of you who were hoping for something faster paced, but there were so many important memories I wanted to include. **

* * *

><p>Fred let the tears out, because holding them in was too much work. They stung her eyes but she was too distraught to care, her entire existence as a human being was unraveling…not that it seemed she was a human being anymore.<p>

Why her? There was nothing special about her, she wasn't smarter than anyone else, not nicer or dumber or faster or slower…she was just normal. Why?

Because suddenly there was this incomprehensible idea that she wasn't real, that she was a human shadow of a far greater, alien, woman. It was frightening first and foremost, and demeaning next. To be told that she was nothing, that the woman in the watch was more important, that her life wasn't real, none of her memories were real…how could anyone begin to understand that? Even the Doctor, who seemed to know everything and sympathize…he wasn't as noble as he seemed, he was asking her to die! Sure, he hadn't asked her directly, but it was clear that that was what he wanted her to do.

Fred tried to move, and it felt strange, and she wondered how long she had sat there crying, thinking about her demise. She felt her hands hit the floor and her hair fell in her face as she tried to get herself in a kneeling position where she could stand up. It was unexpectedly difficult to do and took some time, but eventually she was on her feet. She slowly walked through the arch in the hallway, trying to get to her bedroom. She needed sleep, and she needed it now. She couldn't think straight, not in this moment.

She searched through her drawers before pulling out a loose cream cardigan and small sleeping shorts, she dazedly pulled them on before collapsing onto the bed and falling asleep instantly.

* * *

><p><em>Everything was fire, everywhere was a battle and everyone was dying, falling, fighting. Cries of pain never ceased and were the only sounds other than explosions that any of them had known for years. <em>

_The flames blazing, engulfing planets, Daleks and Time Lords alike, the Nightmare Child stalking whoever was in reach, the Could-Have-Been-King and his army of Meanwhiles, storming Arcadia and wiping out all life there…_

_Fire…burning…death…screams filling the air….extinction…no hope for a future…death…fire…screams…extinction…slaughter…massacre…blood split…explosions…bombs…and death…again, and again, and again._

* * *

><p>Fred woke up, and found herself screaming in agony at the dream which she now knew was actually a memory. The horror of it was not comprehensible, and she could almost literally feel her mind burning from the sheer scale and torment of it all…<p>

Her sheets were tangled all around her, tears staining her cheeks as she fought to stop herself from screaming, harder and louder. She clapped her hand over her mouth as sobs began to shake her body once more. Her other hand travelled up to clutch her hair as she lost control completely. It took her a full five minutes to calm down and recover even partially.

Fred swung out of bed and accidentally half hit the wall, but kept going anyway, her bare feet padding through the carpet as she tried to get through the hallway. It was so hard to move, to walk straight, it felt as though the life and will to keep going had been sucked out of her. After all, it wasn't really her life anymore, was it? She was dazed, almost, her mind whirring with thoughts of hysteria and revulsion, but enough to be fully aware of her surroundings, enough to remember completely the fact that she wasn't real.

When she reached the coffee table in front of her couch, she dropped to her knees and picked up the fob watch.

What did it mean? If she opened it, would she die? What would happen to her?

Fred ran her fingers over the designs in the watch, and a tear fell off her face and onto the golden surface. She found her eyes widening as a speck of golden light squeezed through the crack and zoomed towards her, entering her very mind.

Before she could process what had happened, Fred's body fell sideways onto the floor, unconscious.

* * *

><p><em>Fred found herself standing in a strange, empty place, where white fog swirled everywhere, masking whatever surface she was standing on. She turned on the spot, and suddenly stopped when she found herself looking at a woman who seemed strangely familiar. <em>

_With a jolt, she realised it was the woman from her mirror dream, the one of extraordinary beauty. _

"_Who are you?" Fred asked the woman who until then had done nothing but stare at her. _

_She smiled and walked towards Fred. _

"_My name is Romanadvoratrelundar," Romana answered with an air of grandeur, "But I suppose you had already guessed that." _

_Fred nodded. _

"_This isn't normal, this meeting. But you're distraught, and I had to intervene, I couldn't let you do this on your own, not when it was my fault." _

"_Your fault?" Fred asked, though she had an idea of what the woman meant. _

"_I created you to save my own life, to give myself a chance to hide. I created your life with the intent of taking it away." Romana said, her eyes serious and forlorn. "And that was wrong of me. But without me, you would have had no life at all." _

"_At least with no life I wouldn't know what I was missing out on. Now I just get to think about all the things I've done, know that half of them never happened, and know that I'm going to die without doing any of the things I wanted to…" Fred's reply started strong but her words trailed off into a slight sob. _

"_I'm sorry. I had no other choice. I would have died if I hadn't done what I did." Romana apologised, sincere. "And think of that what you wish, but at least think of it like this. The Doctor is alone. He has lost all of the other Time Lords. No human can stay with him forever. If you won't accept what it is that I'm asking of you for the reasons I've given, do it for him. Bring me back for his sake, so that he doesn't have to live on alone." She took Fred's hands in her own, staring into her eyes. _

"_You're asking me to die." Fred whispered fearfully, and Romana shook her head sadly. _

"_It's not death, not really. I'm asking you to become a part of me, so that I may live, and free the Doctor from his burden." She assured her human self. "You'll live through me, experience what I do. You'll see the universe, but as me rather than you." _

"_So I'll become you, without completely losing myself?" Fred repeated, and the other woman nodded. _

"_If that's how you choose to see it…but it is still not a particularly happy fate. I'm asking you to be the bigger person, to give your life for another, some I would do if it weren't for him." Romana replied gravely, and there was no need to ask who 'him' was. "Fred, please…open the watch, and free me. Please, bring me back to life…" _

_Her voice echoed as her image faded, and Fred found her mind retreating out of the strange, void-like world._

* * *

><p>Fred became aware of her surroundings again, of her house. She slowly slid her hands through the carpet to push herself back up into a sitting position, and picked up the fob watch from where it had fallen on the floor. She sat there and stared at it for several minutes, her thoughts still frantic but mildly more calm due to what had just happened.<p>

If she opened the watch, she would become Romanadvoratrelundar. A woman who was clearly great. She had said that if it weren't for the Doctor, she wouldn't ask Fred to die, she would be content to die herself. That was a fairly significant statement.

But the fact remained that it was up to her now to free Romana. All it would take would be one small bit of pressure on the top of the watch, and it would fall open. Such a simple thing that was so difficult because of the price that came with it.

Was she ready to die? Fred couldn't be sure. She could feel herself becoming calmer with every passing second, but was that why? Was she accepting her death?

Romana would live for centuries longer than she would, that was a certainty. Romana could save this Doctor from his loneliness…and Fred held all of that future in her hands.

Suddenly, she thought of Sally. What would happen? She would become Romana, fly away with the Doctor in his magical box, and Sally would never know what had happened to her.

Fred stood up slowly and crossed her bookcase where a picture of her with Sally stood. She took it in her free hand and went to sit back down on the floor, not sure of what was about to happen and wanting to make sure that she had room.

But she wanted the last thing she remembered as a human to be Sally. Because Sally was real. Her parents and family may not have been, but Sally was real, a true friend when she had needed her in these horrible past weeks. She placed the picture of Sally on the coffee table opposite where she was sitting, but shuffled back so that she was in the centre of the carpeted floor area.

Staring at the picture of the red-headed friend who had supported her through everything, Fred closed her fingers over the top of the watch and pressed down. The watch sprung open and golden artron energy flowed from it into her.

She dropped to the floor in pain, screaming as her biology rewrote itself, the cells changing and morphing to become Gallifreyan, her brain bursting with agony as a million facts poured into it, and her chest felt as though it was going to stretch and stretch and stretch; a second heart was growing…

And then the memories hit her.

* * *

><p><em>Running through the fields of red grass with the net clasped firmly in her left hand as the Gallifreyan flutterwing zoomed around her, making her dizzy. Her strides – strong for a seven-year old – were long as she raced after it, trying to catch the creature. <em>

_But then her mother was calling her, so she sighed, and gazed at the flutterwing longingly. _

_Another day, perhaps…_

* * *

><p>"<em>Ice Queen, what did you get on the exam?" One of her classmates asked, using the nickname that had become popular with her, but she hated it. However, she stayed composed. <em>

"_99%." She replied simply, and raised a perfectly arched eyebrow. "And you?" _

"_No, uh, just wondering," He said embarrassedly, turning away. _

_Clearly he had been hoping that he had done better than her, since it would be a feat that almost no one had accomplished. _

_She fit so well into the idealisms of Time Lord life, so why did she feel as though there was something missing?_

* * *

><p>"<em>My name is Romanadvoratrelundar." She said, and the man merely raised an eyebrow. His hair was a mass of crazy brown curls, his scarf was a ridiculous length, and his eyes held both intelligence and tomfoolery. <em>

"_Well I'm terribly sorry about that, is there anything we can do?" He asked, his immature tone irritating her already. The Doctor was so infamous, and she had been strangely excited to meet him, but her views on him were quickly dropping. _

"_The President of the Supreme Council sent me. I was told to give you this." She held out the tracer, the long cylindered object the size of a ruler._ _He took it and examined it closely, still kneeling on the floor by the metal dog. _

"_What's this?" _

"_According to my instructions, it's the core to the Key to Time. Very exciting, isn't it?" She explained, while hiding the fact that inside she was brimming with excitement and pride at being chosen by keeping calm but eager. _

"_Yes, I suppose it must be for someone as young and inexperienced as you are," He told her vaguely, and she found herself indignant of the fact that he made an age jab. However, it didn't bother her much and she certainly didn't show it. _

"_I may be inexperienced, but I did graduate from the Academy with a triple first," She replied calmly as she touched her hair with a delicate air, knowing that in this field she had more points for sure. _

_He snorted in a particularly disinterested manner. "I suppose you think that we should be impressed by that too."_

"_Well, it's better than scraping past with 51% on the second attempt," She retorted, and his face dropped into an indignant scowl as he scrambled off the floor to the console of the machine. _

"_That information is confidential!" He snapped defensively, and she internally gave herself a pat on the back for winning that round._

* * *

><p><em>Many minutes later, their argument was still not resolved. He was currently sitting in the corner, refusing to talk to her. She had pulled up a chair by the console, taken the tiara out of her hair and begun brushing her glossy dark curls with her hairbrush. <em>

"_You're sulking." She said eventually, and his head snapped out of the corner to glare at her. _

"_I am _not _sulking." He corrected, and she smirked. _

"_That's ridiculous for someone as old as you are." She said in an amused manner, and he again looked affronted. _

"_I'm not old!" He said while looking horrified. She made a disbelieving noise that came out sounding a lot like 'pfft'. "What?" _

"_759?" She said, eyebrow raised. _

"_756!" He corrected irritably, then mellowed thoughtfully. "That's not old…that's mature." _

"_You've lost count somewhere!" She realised, and it brought an amused smile to her lips. He was such an eccentric and strange character, so unlike anyone on Gallifrey. _

"_Well I ought to know my own age!" _

_She nodded, looking thoughtful though being ever so slightly mocking. "Yes, but after the first few centuries, I expect things must get a bit foggy, don't they?" _

_He got angry then, getting up from his place in the corner to slam his hands down on the console and glare at her. "Now, listen. This is no good, this isn't going to work." _

"_Doctor, you're not giving me a chance!" She told him, and smiled pleasantly. "It's funny, you know, but before I met you, I was even willing to be impressed."_

"_Indeed." He sounded caught between surprise and sarcasm. _

"_Oh yes." She said with a friendly nod before shrugging and going back to brushing her hair. "Of course, now I realise that your behaviour simply derives from a subtransitory experimental hypertoid condition, aggravated, I expect, by multi-encephalogical tensions." _

_He looked at her blankly, but with an offended air. "What's that supposed to mean?" _

_She shrugged and smiled patronisingly. "Well, to put it very simply, Doctor, you're suffering from a massive compensation syndrome." _

_He gaped before glaring once more. "Is that the sort of rubbish that they're pouring into your head at the Academy?" _

_She continued on thoughtfully without fully regarding him. "You know, I might even use your case in my thesis when I get back to Gallifrey…" _

"_I'll show you whether I'm suffering from a massive compensation syndrome." He snapped, preparing himself to impress her. "And you're not going back to the Academy for a long time yet, I regret to say!"_

* * *

><p><em>They had begun to work together after that, having landed on a planet to look for the First Segment. <em>

"_One more thing," He said to her, and she raised an eyebrow. _

"_What?" _

"_Your name." _

"_What about my name?" She thought it was quite a nice one, it was easy enough to say when one had enough time. _

"_It's too long." He said, and she frowned. "By the time I've called out 'look out – what's your name?" He asked, looking down at her. _

"_Romanadvoratrelundar!" She reminded him forcefully. _

"_By the time I call that out, you could be dead. I'll call you Romana." He said, and she didn't like it at all. What gave him the right to choose her name? _

"_But I don't like Romana," She argued. _

"_It's either Romana, or Fred!" He said irritably, and she brightened. _

"_Alright, call me Fred!" She said enthusiastically. _

"_Good. Come on, Romana." He began to walk away, and she rolled her eyes before following._

* * *

><p>"<em>Doctor, there are men out there planning to kill us, and you're just sitting here chattering." She said accusingly, pacing the room while he chatted with Garron, who was imprisoned with them.<em>

"_Please don't panic, Romana. Come and sit down. Come on, come and sit down." He patted the spot next to him calmly and she reluctantly sat down next to him. "Listen, when you've faced death as often as I have, this is much more fun."_

* * *

><p><em>They were in the hovercraft, flying back to the main city on Zanak, when he brought up a 'Newton'.<em>

_She was confused. "Newton? Who's Newton?"_

_He smiled at some old memory. "__Old Isaac. Friend of mine on Earth. Discovered gravity. Well, I say he discovered gravity, I had to give him a bit of a prod." He admitted. _

"_What did you do?" She asked with innocent interest. _

"_Climbed up a tree." _

"_And?"_

"_Dropped an apple on his head." He said simply._

"_Ah, and so he discovered gravity?" She nodded, understanding. _

"_No, no. He told me to clear off out of his tree. I explained it to him afterwards at dinner." _

_Of course. How could she expect anything else of the Doctor?_

* * *

><p><em>She had been so mad at him for not telling her the truth about who had sent her to him, that she had stormed out the room, but as he followed her out into the corridor of the TARDIS, the lights turned out and in her surprise at the dark, she had ended up very nearly pressed against him. <em>

_With another minute or so of arguments and banter, suddenly his lips were on hers, taking her completely aback. _

_After that, though it did not happen again for a long time, she found herself seeing the Doctor in a slightly different light. _

_And just when she had thought her feelings for the Doctor couldn't have gotten more confusing._

* * *

><p><em>The energy ran through her body, causing pain to surge through every vein, muscle and bone in her body as the torture instruments were worked. She tried to not show her pain; she didn't want the Doctor to worry, and she knew that he was watching. <em>

"_No, no, stop, stop!" He was shouting, and suddenly the pain cut short and his face came back into focus, some metres away. _

"_Doctor, no!" She shouted, leaning on the bars of her confines, "Don't give in to him, it doesn't matter what happens to me!" _

_After all, this was for the Key to Time, which would right the entire universe…and she wasn't more important than the entire universe. _

_And yet…_

"_Of course it matters!" The Doctor retorted, looking affronted at the very idea. _

_She felt herself feel both strangely touched, and horrified. Now was not the time for him to get sentimental! He needed to stop worrying about her…but somehow she felt as though he never would, he always seemed far too protective of her…_

* * *

><p>"<em>So where are we going?" She asked after the entire mess with the Key to Time was over. There was always Gallifrey, but she didn't want to go back, she felt as though travelling with the Doctor would be more fun. Oh no, look at what I've turned into. She couldn't bring herself to be truly annoyed at herself at him for it. <em>

"_Going? I don't know." He said in an uncaring tone, and she felt annoyance flare in her. Honestly, the nerve of him continued to infuriate her. _

"_You have absolutely no sense of responsibility whatsoever!" She accused fiercely, advancing on him with a threatening finger. _

"_What?" He yelped, looking alarmed as she backed him closer to the TARDIS door. _

"_You're capricious, arrogant, self-opinionated, irrational, and you don't even know where we're going!" Each derogatory adjective came with a poke in the chest, and he looked visibly worried. _

_His reply sent her speechless. _

"_Exactly!"_

"_What?" She asked, flabbergasted. _

_He shrugged. "Well, if I knew where I was going, there's a chance the Black Guardian would as well, hence this new device!" He explained, and she frowned. _

"_What is it?"_

"_Well, it's called a randomiser and it's fitted to the guidance systems and operates on a very complex scientific principle called pot luck." He smiled as he set the TARDIS going, while she watched warily, not convinced of the idea. "Now no one knows where we're going, not even the Black Guardian." _

"_Not even us." She added, and he merely grinned, nodding._

* * *

><p><em>She stood there in front of him, wearing the body of Princess Astra of Atrios. He didn't seem pleased. <em>

"_What are you doing in that body?" He asked. _

"_Regenerating, do you like it?" She asked hopefully, as usual secretly craving his approval, though she would die before letting him know that. _

"_But you can't wear that body!" He said, horrified. _

"_I thought it looked very nice on the Princess," She replied. _

"_But you can't go around wearing copies of other people's bodies!" _

"_Why not? We're not going back to Atrios, are we?" _

"_No." He said hesitantly. _

"_Well then," She said as though that settled it. _

"_Well then, go try another one on, go on." He pushed her towards the wardrobe room. _

_Several minutes and bodies later, she put Astra's body back on and dressed herself in an exact replica of his clothes. _

"_How about this, Doctor?" She asked, and he looked up and smiled. _

"_Exactly! Good heavens, that's exactly right. Ha! I never realised you had such a sense of style." He declared, clearly pleased. _

"_I thought you said external appearances weren't important."_

"_Ah, but it's nice to get them right, isn't it?"_

"_Ah, but it's what on the inside that counts." _

"_Exactly," He agreed as he pulled off the hat she had been wearing completely over her face, and his expression dropped as he saw that she was still wearing Astra's body. "Oh."_

"_Don't you like it? I think it'll do very nicely. The arms are a bit long. I can always take them in." She said, going to look at herself in the mirror and holding out her arms, which were only just visible out of the long sleeves of his coat. _

"_No, no, no, the arms are just fine!" He said quickly. "They're just fine." He sighed heavily. "It's just that…oh well, alright, have it your own way. But get rid of those silly clothes, eh?" _

_She grinned and went to take off the clothes. Even if she did come out in a feminine replica of his outfit anyway. _

* * *

><p><em>Feeding ducks in Paris, when suddenly their cheerful conversation took a different turn. In another attempt to try and explain how conflicted he made her feel, it again ended with him kissing her to try and help her make up her mind. <em>

_She wasn't going to complain…though it had become fairly obvious to her that she had fallen hard for the older man…something that she knew she probably shouldn't have done. _

_But it was far, far too late._

_They ran through Paris, hands joined because there was no reason for them not to be, laughing at each other. Everything was perfect and cheerful, there was no longer a Key or Guardian to weigh them down, no Time Lords to worry about, just the Doctor and Romana, the way that seemed so natural and right._

* * *

><p><em>She realised that the co-pilot of the ship had taken off before waiting for the Doctor to return, and stormed into the control room with a murderous expression on her face. <em>

"_Despicable worm!" She snarled, making him jump, but then scowl and ignore her. "Turn back!" _

"_My duty is to get the cargo to the Nimon. We're late already." He replied firmly, not listening in the slightest. _

"_Your duty is to save the life of the man who has just saved yours." She snapped, approaching him, intent on making him turn back. _

"_We must fulfil our part of the pact." He argued, but she shook her head, not accepting a word for a single second. Nothing could justify leaving the Doctor behind. _

"_Turn back!" She yelled._

"_The Nimon waits for no man!" _

_She then dived for the controls in an attempt to turn back herself, but then he pulled out a gun and she was forced to comply._

* * *

><p><em>She was trying to free the trapped teenagers when the foolish man, Soldeed, arrived and tried to stop her. <em>

"_You, you meddlesome hussy. Do not touch the sacrifices!" He screeched, and she whirled around, her expression dark. _

"_It's all over Soldeed, you're finished." She spat. She had never felt so much pity, revulsion and anger at any one being in her life, and with so much at stake, she was out of patience completely. Nice was out the window. _

"_No, the Nimon will fulfil his great promise! Nimon be praised!" He insisted with rolled-back eyes, raising his hands in the air as he convinced her of his insanity with each moment. _

"_The Nimon be praised?" Her voice held a tone of mocking as she repeated his words. "How many Nimons have you seen today?"_

"_Don't dare blaspheme the Nimon…" He warned, but she shook her head._

"_How many?" She asked sharply, though he continued to make excuses._

"_Skonnos will-"_

"_How many Nimons?" She demanded. _

"_Three! I have seen three!" He wailed, clutching at his head. _

"_Well, I've just seen a whole lot more rampaging down the corridor. Face it, Soldeed, you're being invaded!" Her bluntness caused him to actually answer her properly. _

"_He said he was the only one. The last survivor of his race." He said desperately, but her frown didn't move a muscle. _

"_He told you what you wanted to hear, promised you what you wanted to have!" Her voice went lower as her anger grew, the idiot was getting on her nerves. _

"_So this is the great journey of life?" _

"_They're parasitic nomads feeding off your selfishness and gullibility!" She shouted in his face. _

"_My dreams of conquest! You have brought this calamity on me!" He began to retreat, eyes crazed as he again clutched his face. _

"_You brought it on yourself!" She replied coldly. _

_He tried, of course, to make more trouble, but he was fighting a losing battle, and was shot dead thirty seconds later. Unsurprisingly, the Nimons were defeated also._

* * *

><p><em>Punting at Cambridge was a somewhat new experience, but one that she found invigorating due to the utter simplicity of the activity, so primitive but so scientific. <em>

"_Some of the greatest labourers in the history of Earth have thought here," The Doctor was saying, his coat and scarf absent as he pushed the boat in his shirt, waistcoat, and hat. She was watching him, stretched out in her dress and flowered hat, book in hand. _

"_Newton, of course," She added, they had had many discussions about the man since that time on the pirate planet, it was almost a kind of inside joke. He grinned widely. _

"_Oh, definitely Newton." He nodded. _

"_For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction," She quoted with a broad smile. _

"_That's right," He looked proud of her. _

"_So Newton invented punting," She joked, and they both laughed. _

"_Oh yes, there was no limit to Issac's genius." He agreed. _

"_Isn't it wonderful how something so primitive can be so…" She trailed off from her cheery sentence, looking for the word she wanted. _

"_Restful?" The Doctor tried, but she shook her head. _

"_No, simple," She settled on, sighing happily. "You just push in one direction and the boat goes the other." He smiled. _

_It had all gone perfectly well, that Autumn morning. _

_Until the Doctor dropped the pole, anyway._

* * *

><p><em>And then the Time Lords called, and it was as though the worst thing possible had just happened. This day had been coming for a long time; both of them had chosen to pretend that it was never going to come, because the thought of it was far, far too terrible. But now it was here. <em>

_The Time Lords wanted her back. _

_She never wanted to leave…she wanted to stay with the Doctor, forever, which for her was not an exaggeration. She did have the longevity to stay with him that long. _

_Only now they were going to ruin it. _

_And he wasn't even fazed, he was telling K-9 to set the co-ordinates for Gallifrey as though they were simply just stopping off on Earth for a cup of tea. She turned away, her eyes closing in bitter disappointment. He wasn't even going to try anything, he was just going to go! Of all the ridiculous things he had rebelled against, why did he have to choose this time to follow the rules?_

"_Well, now that we've dropped off our Earth friend, we can be on our way!" The Doctor said, and she turned to look at him. _

"_You've made up your mind, then?" She asked. _

"_Oh, yes, we can't resist a summons to Gallifrey," He said as he turned away to get his coat. She bit her lip and covered her mouth to stop an involuntarily sob as she fled from the room. She didn't hear the rest of what he said as she entered her room and flung herself onto her bed, tears slowly running down her cheeks. _

_She was lying stomach down on her bed, leaning on her elbows and looking away from the door as he came in. She tried to not look at him; she didn't want him to see her crying, it was such a weak thing to be doing. _

_He coughed pointedly. "Do you mind if I come in?" _

_A horrible conversation followed, where she tried to convince him that she didn't want to spend the rest of her life on Gallifrey, telling him to fight the Time Lords, seeing as he had done so before, and he told her that he had lost when he did. _

_It was when he so vaguely had concluded that they had to go that her anger took off. She demanded more answers, wanted to know why he was letting her go so easily. Did she really mean that little to him? _

_He seemed surprised that she could think that he didn't care, and revealed that it bothered him a lot more than he let on. _

_She hugged him tightly, not wanting to let go, not ever. He quietly held her, saying nothing for a change. _

_That day was the last day she kissed his Fourth incarnation._

* * *

><p><em>In the end, the trip to Gallifrey was cancelled when they accidentally landed in E-Space. <em>

_They were captured, stuck on a strange planet there while faced with the problem of fighting a great vampire that could take out entire planets, with only the knowledge that at one time, the Time Lords had killed the great vampires. Still, they didn't know what to do now…_

"_When was all this supposed to have happened?" She asked, and he snapped out of a daze. _

"_Hmm? When was all what supposed to have happened?" _

"_The legend." She reminded him. _

_He shrugged. "Oh, that. Oh, in the misty dawn of history, when even Rassilon was young."_

_There was a slight pause as she took this information in and tried not to get to excited at the thought that had occurred to her. She stayed calm. _

"_I once worked in the Bureau of Ancient Records, for a time," She told him thoughtfully, staring at the wall. _

"_So?" He asked, clearly wondering what her point was. _

"_Oh, nothing," She said dismissively, shrugging. "It's just that I once came across something called the 'Record of Rassilon' in one of the old data books." _

"_And?" His voice was expectant, he had realised that she was going somewhere with it. _

"_And it was an emergency instruction. A copy of the book was installed in certain time vehicles." She explained, and he raised his eyebrows in interest, getting his hopes up. _

"_What time vehicles?" He asked almost excitedly. _

"_Oh, I don't know, I forget," She said flippantly. _

"_What time vehicles?" He repeated, staring at her intently. _

"_Type 40, I think," She answered, watching his reaction as something in his eyes lit up. He leaned closer to her for one of his whispered relevations. _

"_Psst," He whispered, "The TARDIS is a Type 40." His voice was excited as he reminded her of this despite clearly knowing that she was already aware of it. _

_She raised her eyebrows in mock surprise as an endearing smile stretched across her face. "Is it? Oh." He made her smile so often with his eccentricities. _

"_Psst," He said again, and she turned to look at him expectantly, this time unsure of what was to come. "You are wonderful." _

_She felt herself become flooded with surprise and pride. Her hearts also felt strangely warm. "Wonderful?" She echoed, "Really?" He nodded, smiling. "Wonderful?" He nodded again. "I suppose I am…never really thought about it." She smiled, looking away thoughtfully. _

_Her knowledge had given them a chance, and they took the first liberty they could to escape and get to work on finding this 'Record of Rassilon'._

* * *

><p><em>They ran back to the TARDIS, arriving just in time. <em>

"_We've made it," The Doctor said with relief. "Quick, quick, inside." He noticed that she hadn't moved from the Tharil's side. "What's the matter?" _

"_I'm not coming with you." She said, and it took a lot of self-control to not let any emotion slip into it. She knew that if he saw how she was really feeling, he would never let her stay. _

"_Inside, that's an order." He tried, but she shook her head with a sad smile. _

"_No more orders, Doctor." She replied. Because no matter what, she was going to be torn away from him. At least this way, she would still be free, still be able to help a species who needed her. "Goodbye." _

"_What?" He said, clearly almost immobile with surprise. "What a moment to choose!" _

"_But it is, isn't it? A moment to choose…I've got to be my own Romana!" She said, and the Tharil nodded. _

"_And we need a Time Lord!" The time sensitive creature added. Romana nodded earnestly. _

"_Goodbye, Doctor," She hoped that her smile was convincing. _

"_No, no, wait, wait! There's something else. K-9. He'll be all right with you behind the mirrors." He said suddenly, and picked up the metal dog before placing him in Romana's capable hands. _

"_I'll take care of him." She promised sincerely. _

"_I'll miss you!" He had to yell slightly over the noise of the overheating rocket nearby. _

_She felt her words of reply catch in her throat, and before she could gather up an answer he started heading into the TARDIS. She turned and began to walk away with Birok in case he popped out again and saw that she was crying again, very quietly. _

_She heard him shout something. "You were the noblest Romana of them all!" Her lips stretched into a fond smile, but it just made her hearts ache more. _

_And just like that, he was gone._

* * *

><p><em>She stayed in E-space for over a century; there were so many Tharils to be free, and she didn't want to stop until the job was done. <em>

_But suddenly, the Tharils were all safe, and she found herself longing for N-Space. Gallifrey may be the reason she had stayed here, and a place that would hold her back from freedom, but it was home, and she was longing for it. _

_She tried not to think about the Doctor. _

_Nonetheless, she began to work on a way to get back._

* * *

><p><em>Back on Gallifrey, so much of it had not changed one bit. Only now, she saw it different eyes. It was not as grand as she had once thought it to be. <em>

_Still, there was so much she could do, so many possibilities…and it was that thinking that landed her the Presidency. She wondered vacantly what the Doctor would think of her now. _

_She supposed that she would just have to wait for him to arrive._

* * *

><p><em>The Daleks captured her, tortured and starved her for twenty years, and suddenly he arrived. And despite everything, her pain and her weakness, her first thought was: 'What is he wearing?'. The rainbow coat definitely had nothing on the scarf, that was for sure. He was offended when she mentioned this, but soon brushed it aside and helped her escape, giving her a gentle hug, knowing how frail she was. <em>

_He had taken her back to Gallifrey, but had been too afraid to come out of the TARDIS, so she stumbled out, so weak and broken, only to be pulled away from the crowds by her cousin, who nursed her back to health while keeping the officials away from her. _

_And eventually, she resumed her role as President, even regenerating for the sake of being hard enough to deal with the upcoming war._

* * *

><p><em>The Time War was a horror, with millions dying, thousands screaming at her for help, but she kept a level head, doing all she could. <em>

_And then the Time Lords, the desperate idiots at the eye of the storm, brought back a long-dead ancestor in a moment of blind panic. _

_Rassilon. He took over, and everyone except for herself and a select few others cowered at his feet, seeing him as the equivalent of a god. It didn't take him long to snatch the Presidency and throw her in jail, and that was when he came up with his infamous and insane plan. They would become 'beings of pure consciousness alone'. _

_It was not long after the plan was set that she escaped. The Doctor had gotten a message to her, and she had sent him an instruction, which she knew he would fulfil. He was going to put a Time Lock on the war. However, he wouldn't know of her escape, wouldn't know that there was a good chance she was going to be able to use a Chameleon Arch to hide on Earth…_

_She just hoped that he would find her…fast_.

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I didn't completely disappoint! Please let me know what you thought, I'm very worried about this chapter. <strong>

**However, next chapter we have Romana IV's first appearance! Still have to work out exactly how I want her to act, but we'll see...and of course, there will be an epic, fluffy Doctor/Romana reunion. **

**Please review and let me know what you thought! **

**-MayFairy :)**

**p.s. I have new Four/RomanaI one-shots up if anyone is interested! I could use more reviews on them, please! **


	8. Finding

**A quick update from me! Words I never thought I would type again...**

**Even though I should be studying...but my muse for this was calling, and I just want to get it done, because it's so close. Just an epilogue after this chapter! **

**Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter: Spirit-of-the-Rain, Mrs. 11th, mad eye harry (I hope Romana lives up to your hopes), happyeverafter72, SuperFunkyGirl1, Dragones, prettygal456, ZackAttack96, toavoidconversation, readandwrite4evernever20!**

**You're all awesome. **

**So, this chapter is really short, especially compared to the last one, but that's just how it happened. **

**Songs for this chapter, for those of you who like the music to add to the mood...**

**For the beginning, Romana's awakening, I recommend the theme 'Close Your Eyes' from Buffy (ironic considering the story title), just type in 'buffy close your eyes' into Youtube and it will come up...and for the third scene, where she meets the Doctor, I was writing it to Stay by Emmy Rossum (who played Christine in the POTO movie, she's awesome!). So there we have it...**

**Enjoy! There is a nice bit of flangst at the end of the chapter...fluffy angst...**

**P.S. My Romana IV is now offically Imogen Poots for anyone who cares. It doesn't really matter. **

**P.P.S. I gave Romana a scarf in this chapter...because I had to...in my mind, Romana = scarf. DAMN YOU, LALLA WARD, FOR BEING SO AWESOME! **

**BARROWMAN! *shakes fist* Not relevant at all, but I feel like when I shout something, I have to do the Barrowman-fist thing afterwards...XD**

* * *

><p>Several minutes passed, and the woman on the floor lay there, letting the memories settle in her head properly. The pain of the transformation had worn off, and now it was just adjusting.<p>

Slowly, Romanadvoratrelundar sat up.

The world felt strange…different. It was extremely strange being in a new body without the buzz of regeneration running through her veins. She blinked a few times, letting her eyes get used to her surroundings. She sat on her heels and held her hands out with her palms up, staring for a few moments before slowly putting them back on the ground to help herself off the ground as she stood up.

Romana let her hands wander across her eyes, face and hair as she recalled from Fred's memories where the nearest mirror in the house was. There was one in the hallway, and she made for it. Yes, she knew the body vaguely from Fred's memories, but she needed to see it for herself. She looked in the mirror curiously and was fairly pleased with what she saw.

The light brown/dirty blonde hair was pleasantly long with some natural kinks, her facial features were symmetrical enough to be attractive, and she had a generally pleasant aura. She did wish that she had had time after regeneration to play around with the new body and pick what she wanted, but this one was fine, she supposed. Body shape was reasonable…now all she had to do was find some more suitable clothes.

Romana walked to the bedroom, fingering Fred's loose cardigan as she went to the wardrobe and surveyed everything inside. She fingered the dresses, blouses and T-shirts, trying to figure out what the new regeneration liked. She pulled out a pale green coat with crossover buttons, one that was slightly longer and looked as though it would cover at least half of her thighs. She laid it on the bed before returning to her browsing.

For sentimental value only, she grabbed a striped scarf from the wardrobe. It reminded her of the Fourth Doctor, her _first _Doctor. After another five minutes of looking, she pulled out a pair of tidy jeans, a white blouse and three different pairs of shoes.

She quickly changed into the clothes, checking the bedroom mirror before giving a satisfied nod and turning her attention back to the shoes. The choice was between three different pairs: A pretty pair of heels, stylish black boots that would be a little hard to run in but could be okay with practice, or a pair of converse.

Pretty, practical, or somewhere in between? She knew that she should be choosing the more practical choice, but she could feel the fashion conscious voice of her first incarnation's preferences nagging her to pick the heels. Eventually, she choose the boots. Still pretty, not impossible to run in if she needed to. She put them on and gave the gorgeous heels one last look before leaving the house.

Romana knew that she needed to find the Doctor, but thinking back to Fred's last thoughts, her friend, Sally…Fred had been right, someone needed to tell her something, and surely it would have to be herself? But how could she explain what had happened?

She ran different plans in her head as she left Fred's house to walk to her friend's home.

* * *

><p>The door opened to reveal the red-headed woman that Romana could vaguely remember, and Sally smiled in surprise.<p>

"Fred, it's so good to see you, you've been so quiet lately, and-" Sally said with excitement and relief, and Romana felt guilt tug at her. She had stolen away almost an entire human life…and now, somehow, she had to explain that to Sally.

"Can I come in?" Romana asked quietly, not feeling comfortable under her gaze, and Sally frowned, but nodded and gestured for her to enter.

They sat in Sally's living room, and Sally eyed Romana's head with some kind of discomfort.

"You're wearing your hair in a bun." She said eventually as though it was a crime.

"So what if I am?"

"You never do that…you hate having your hair in a bun, you said it made you feel as though your hair wasn't there…it was so stupid, but you've been like that for years…" Sally explained, looking unnerved.

"Well…that's just it…Sally…" The name felt strange on her tongue, like it wasn't for her to say, but for Fred. "I'm not…I'm not who you think I am."

Sally frowned but otherwise remained blankly confused. Her eyes threw her a questioning look.

"I'm not Fred." She said simply, and Sally gave a shaky, worried chuckle.

"Of course you are…what's wrong with you?" She asked, and when no humour entered Romana's eyes, alarm began to fill her face. "Fred, what-"

"I'm not Fred," Romana corrected sharply, and Sally again looked incredibly worried. "I was, but now…now I'm not."

"What, you're saying that you've become someone else? Like you want to act differently, as if you were a different person?" Sally asked, confused and still thinking in limited human terms.

"It's too hard to explain," Romana said with a shake of her head, "Fred…she…" The Time Lady tried to swallow the lump in her throat. It was as though saying her name was forbidden. Her conscience screamed that she had no right to mention the human woman, the one who she had knowingly created and raised for slaughter. "She died, I mean, literally, she's gone. This is her body, but it's not…not her in here anymore, it's me."

"This is sick," Sally whispered, leaning away a little, "Fred, honey, you're scaring me, stop it!"

"Fred is gone!" Romana snapped, and Sally stared at her in shock, a tear running down her cheek. "She died, she died so that I could live." Sally began to shake her head slowly, but Romana seized the human woman's hand and placed it across her chest, letting her feel the heartbeat on her left side.

"So what…" Before she could finish, the hand moved to the other side, and Sally's eyes widened in surprise. "But…but…that wasn't there before! You have…two hearts…"

Romana nodded solemnly. "I do…and Fred did not…please realise that she is gone. I only came because you are never going to see her again, and you deserve to know why."

"Why do I deserve it?" Sally asked quietly, and Romana bit her lip.

"Because you were kind to her…her life and mind was unravelling as the part of her mind that was me began to reach out…she was confused and hurt, and you helped her. I remember that." Romana explained gently, looking at her hands in her lap.

"What do you mean, you remember?" Sally's voice was sharp, almost accusing.

"I have her memories…" The Time Lady admitted, and Sally's reaction of both anger and confusion was unsurprising. "When she died, and I became alive…her memories became mine."

Sally looked down, trying to hide her tears from the other woman. "Why did Fred have to die?"

"So you believe me now?"

"I don't know how but…I can sense that it's not her, your eyes aren't hers, you act different, you talk different…she's not there. But why did she have to die?" Sally demanded, and the guilt hit Romana again.

"I was running…I had to run so far away, to hide. I made myself human…my true self was stored in a fob watch." Sally's eyes widened, showing that at some point she had been aware of the watch. "And my human self…she lived a normal life, had memories of a family that never existed…she made friends and got a job, no different from anyone else. And her name was Fred."

"You're not human." Sally said, looking as though she was past the point of disbelief, it was proved by the two hearts. "You became Fred."

Romana nodded slowly before continuing to explain. "But she began to remember, she would dream about my life, and she remembered things that she couldn't understand or withstand. It was destroying her, because my consciousness was reaching out. I wanted to be free."

"Why did you have to live? Why not her?" Sally suddenly demanded, and Romana closed her eyes momentarily.

"There is a man out there…a man who has saved billions of lives, and will do so again and again and again. He is wonderful and terrible and he has blood on his hands that he did not shed. His mind is so damaged. He's the last of his kind, and he is the most lonely soul in the universe. But there's me. I can save him from that. Fred died knowing that when she died, I would live on to find him, to keep him safe, to stop him when needed, and to stop the loneliness from destroying him." Romana's eyes filled with sorrow and pain as she thought of Fred and the Doctor, and looking at Sally didn't help.

"She chose to die…to save a complete stranger?"

"No, not a stranger. She met him, he realised what she was, who was hiding behind the human. He told her the truth, and what she had to do. It took her a long time to accept, I had to talk to her in a dream, explain why it was so necessary. She understood. And by doing what she did, she was a far greater woman than I will ever be." Romana admitted, and began fiddling with her coat button in an attempt to not have to meet the accusation in the human's eyes.

"Yes, I suppose she was," Sally said flatly, who looked as though she didn't know what to feel any more.

"But when she – just before she chose to go, she keep thinking about you, how kind you had been…she took a picture of you and stared at it as she opened the watch. You were the last thing she saw, her last thought." Romana told her, and Sally's lip quivered for a second before she began crying, loud, broken sobs that twisted in Romana's heart like a knife.

_I did this, _She thought with disgust.

Romana felt as though she should offer the woman comfort, so she reached for her, but the red head recoiled, looking up sharply.

"Don't…just…don't. I can't look at you, I'm sorry. Please…can you just go?" Sally asked with a sniff, and Romana nodded stiffly.

"You'll never see me again if I go now," She warned, and Sally nodded.

"I'll put Fred's affairs in order. Just…go. Thank you, but…" Sally swallowed her words. "Go and save him. I hope he's worth it."

"He is," Romana whispered before turning and leaving the house. She walked down the street with a lump in her throat the size of Jupiter.

* * *

><p>Romana walked for hours around the town and neighbourhood searching for the blue box. It was nowhere to be seen. Eventually she decided to wander through the park, taking in the trees and birds with a content smile on her face. Something about Earth was so calming.<p>

She smiled at a beaming child who went past; Earth children were so incredible, so carefree and without burden. It was so contrasted to her own childhood that she couldn't help be fascinated by it. There were many of them around here, in the park was a playground, and she was standing right next to it.

The wind blew her hair and she clutched her scarf for fear of losing it, she had already bonded with it sentimentally. She blamed it on the Doctor, as she had once often done for most things. But then she realised that amongst the noise of the wind, was a wheezing noise that was so wonderfully familiar, and her hearts picked up a pace in excitement. Her head whipped as she searched for it, but she couldn't lay her eyes on the police box, it was somewhere in the trees nearby.

A woman approached her, a small child in tow, and the woman looked both worried and helpful.

"Are you lost?" She asked kindly, and Romana blinked at the question.

"No, it's not that, I am aware of where I am, it's just…" She said quickly, her eyes wandering. Her voice trailed off as she saw the figure at the corner of the path who had just come into her line of sight, fifty metres away. A strange noise came out of her mouth, something between a sob and relieved laugh. At the same time, his face broke out into a huge grin.

In those moments, nothing mattered. Without saying another word, Romana began to run towards him, and he wasn't about to be outdone by her. They met in the middle, bodies pressed together and arms wound so tightly around each other that they were both afraid of the chance of suffocation. Both decided that it wasn't important.

"Doctor," She breathed into his tweed jacket, and belatedly realised that at some point she had started crying.

"Romana," He said in reply, and clearly loved saying the name as much as she loved to hear him say it. After at least a full minute of simply holding each other, he pulled away so as to cup her face with his hands. "You're crying." He said in an almost confused voice.

"I am _not _crying!" She retorted hotly, before frowning and biting her lip. "The wind blew something in my eye." She stuck her chin up for an attempt at dignity.

"Those were tears," He insisted, looking amused at how she wanted to deny it.

"Oh, so now you're going to lord it over me, are you?" Romana asked with a raised eyebrow annoyed.

"Of course not. I would be crying too…but I'm a man. Men don't cry." He tried to look impressive but she just chuckled. He smiled and leant his forehead on hers. "But I am _so _happy that I found you." He said softly.

"I knew that you would." She replied simply, and her unchanged trust in him showed in her eyes. Until a shadow passed through them and her voice became more serious than he had ever heard it.

"I thought I had lost you. Lost you all. I've been alone for so long, Romana." He whispered, his voice broken. She tried to give him a reassuring smile, which he bravely returned and cupped her cheek.

"They're all gone, aren't they? The Time Lords?" Her voice was strong but he could hear the strain underneath it.

"Yes. The war is Time Locked. I did as you told me to, President," He said solemnly, though the reference to her previous title was added for his own amusement.

"I'm the President of nothing; my planet no longer exists," Romana reminded him and his face fell momentarily.

"Yes…but you are still a Time Lady. And we still have a TARDIS. We can keep going…it will never end. As long as we go on, the Time Lords are still alive, in our minds. And in us."

"Us. I like that."

The Doctor pulled away from her so that he could look her over properly. As always, she was beautiful, but he supposed that to him, she always would be. He held his hand out and she took it, their fingers entwining in the way that she had missed from the moment she had left his TARDIS the first time.

"Well then, Romanadvoratrelundar, all of space and time, anything that ever is or ever was, where do you want to start?" The Doctor asked, and Romana felt her hearts begin to soar as the familiarity of the actions and words filled them.

"Everywhere." Her reply was met by a large grin.

He pulled her along enthusiastically, taking her back to the TARDIS where a new chapter of their story would begin. Meanwhile, the woman from the playground watched, incredibly moved by the entire scene, that such young people could feel so much and be that…devoted. She watched them go, and wished them all the best in her mind. The world needed more people like those two.

The Doctor was almost bouncing with excitement as he led her quickly back to the TARDIS, and Romana laughed at him.

"Also, I like your scarf, very cool."

"I thought you might."

"I think it should be longer."

"I agree. But a more important question…"

"What?"

"May I inquire about the bowtie?"

"Bowties are cool."

"We'll see about that."

* * *

><p><strong>I hope I didn't disappoint! That's the problem with these highly anticipated scenes, I'm always so worried that someone (or all of you) is going to hate how I did it...and Zack, I know what you're going to say, just...grrr. Despite what you say, I still worry about what everyone else will think. <strong>

**Please let me know what you thought in a review! Also, any requests for what you might like to see in the epilogue...I may not take every suggestion, just checking to see if there isn't something I haven't thought of...**

**-MayFairy :)**


	9. Epilogue

**Man, I'm on a roll this weekend! Ironic considering this is my weekend that is supposed to be full of study..but I can't help it...I really wanted to get this story finished...**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed the last chapter: ZackAttack96, happyeverafter72, EleventhdocAmy, my completely anonymous reviewer, Caligo Origuu, SuperFunkyGirl1, AngelsOnTheMoon98, prettygal456, Spirit-of-the-Rain, readandwrite4evernever20, and Mrs. 11th. **

**Also, thank you to everyone who has reviewed this story at any time, it means a lot, though obviously my regulars get a lot more credit. **

**So, this epilogue comes in three parts...firstly an angsty/hurt/comfort part, then an all dialogue (it's a format I like to play with occasionally) bit of banter and flirting, then a nice fluffy ending. **

**Enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Romana came out of the wardrobe, laughing at herself, as she had found her old white scarf of abnormal length, and had draped it around her neck in replacement for the one she had found on Earth. Hopefully the Doctor would like it.<p>

After searching for him for some time, she found him in the library, bent over something. She leant over and draped the scarf over his shoulders, looping her arms loosely around his neck before resting her chin on his shoulder.

"What are you doing, Doctor?" She asked, and he didn't look up, he merely sighed.

"Just some visual records from the TARDIS…all the Time Lords that are gone." He replied, spreading out the pictures for her to see. There was one of an old man dressed as a monk on a cliff, and after him followed many others, some that Romana knew, most that she did not.

"Flavia," Romana murmured when she saw the older woman with greying golden hair piled on her head come up in a photo. "I took the Presidency from her…"

"I met her a couple of times…funny how you never miss people like her until they are gone." The Doctor said slowly, his voice incredibly solemn. The next picture was of people that Romana recognised: The Master and the Rani.

"Those two are trouble, especially when together…but I understand what you mean, Doctor, I find myself missing them regardless…" Romana muttered, and one of his hands travelled up to touch one of hers.

"I've been alone for so long," He whispered, staring ahead at nothing. Romana bit her lip and came to pull up a chair next to him, forcing him to look at her, and she was surprised to see tears welling in his eyes. She'd only seen the Doctor cry once before; when they had both watched Leela being killed in the Time War. But this time was somewhat different.

He sniffed loudly, furiously wiping at his eyes with embarrassment, but she caught his hands and held them in hers while looking at him directly in the eyes.

"Doctor," She said quietly, "You're not alone any more, you opened my eyes and I'm _here." _She tried to smile, her eyes imploring him to see how much she cared.

He bravely smiled, but it soon faltered, and just as he once again became very forlorn, he stood up and pulled her out of her chair, hugging her so tightly that she couldn't breathe, so vigorously that her feet were lifted off the ground (she was over half a foot shorter than him). His body shook with some kind of emotion as he clutched at her desperately, pressing every inch of her to him.

"Half of me still thinks that I'm dreaming, that you can't be real," He said desperately, pressing his nose into her hair and smelling that so very _real _smell of Gallifrey, the smell of the musky air and of the double rays of sunlight that fell on the ground.

Romana looked him in the eyes, staring down at him because he had lifted her so high in his hug. "Could you dream this?" She whispered, and lowered her mouth to his, pressing the gentle kiss to his surprised lips before pulling away and again finding herself lost in his bottomless green eyes. He slowly put her down, and stared at her for a while before giving her a gentle smile.

"No," He said quietly, sincerity filling his voice, "I could never dream of that."

She opened her mouth to say something but he covered it with his hand, then used his other to brush hair back from her face as he solemnly lent forward and pressed a slow, intense kiss to her forehead. His hand left her mouth and took her hand instead. When he pulled away, he didn't look any less awed by her.

"Don't ever leave me," He whispered, face inches from hers. She shook her head quickly.

"I wouldn't dream of it," She replied, and he smiled before taking her by the hand and leading her through the TARDIS, trying to think of something to distract her enough so that when he mentioned that he had jettisoned her bedroom, she wouldn't try to physically assault him. Because she wasn't going to be happy.

Ten minutes later, sure enough, an furious yell echoed through the corridors.

"You did _what _to my room?"

* * *

><p>"I'm not sure about this new hair colour, Doctor…I quite liked brown you know, but this isn't exactly brown…sometimes it looks brown, sometimes it looks blonde!"<p>

"At least you weren't ginger."

"What's wrong with ginger?"

"Well, I want to be ginger, so if _you_ were ginger, then I would have to be jealous, which is not a good thing."

"Oh…okay. Why do you want to be ginger, anyway?"

"Because I've never been ginger, so I want to be ginger!"

"So the classic case of wanting what you can't or haven't had, then?"

"No, it's just that…gingers are cool! Gingers like Vislor Turlough, Melanie Bush, Grace Holloway, Donna Noble and Amy Pond! They're all cool!"

"I see."

"I'm not sure that you do, because gingers aren't just cool, gingers are sexy. You know what, I think I've changed my mind."

"About what?"

"Let's just say that I'd like you to take that as a hint, if you, uh, don't mind."

"A hint?"

"For your next regeneration."

"Ah. Gingers are sexy…I'll remember that."

"Good."

* * *

><p>Romana lay in the Doctor's bed happily, watching him rush around with his sonic looking like an idiot, wearing nothing but pajama bottoms. She merely laughed.<p>

"Doctor, stop doing that and come in here with me! It is your bed, after all." She said, and he stopped in his action, looking at her suddenly almost as if he had forgotten she was there.

"Yes, right. I'll be there soon," He said quickly, and saw that she had sat up, and his eyes immediately went to the thin silken nightie she wore with a proud smirk. He clapped his hand over his eyes awkwardly, determined not to look.

Why did she have to be so fashion conscious? Her lingerie was incredibly distracting…

Nevertheless, it worked, he soon clambered into the other side of the bed, pressing a brief kissing to her lips before pressing his body next to hers in a protective and comforting embrace. She smiled and snuggled back against him, very aware of his nose in her hair and his hand travelling down her arm and then thigh.

"So, how long are you going to stay with me?" The Doctor asked Romanadvoratrelundar, and she rotated her head up to grin at him, the most beautiful man she knew, floppy hair and big chin and all.

"If it's alright with you, I thought we could start with forever and see how it goes from there." She replied, and he traced his finger across her cheek gently.

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

><p><strong>Yes, I used the line that is so holy among Rose fans...for Romana, and it's kind of a slap in the face to them considering that Romana can actually live up to it and Rose can'tdidn't, so yeah, all for fun of course, but I do love being able to rub facts in Drose fans faces...dear lord, I'm a troll. XD**

**It's over! My first completed multi-chapter fic...it's strangely touching. I will miss it, but with my new Rani story, I think I'll be alright. **

**Also, keep an eye out for the eventual sequel to this, which will basically be a story of random one-shots between Eleven and Romana. **

**Thank you to all who have supported me throughout the story, you're all brilliant. *waves goodbye***

**-MayFairy :)**


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